DICK IN A BOXIEST
A-Trak & Armand
BEST REENACTMENT OF THE TANGO SCENE IN SCENT OF A WOMAN
Lady Gaga and Paul McCartney
GET THIS GIRL TO THE STAGE, MONISTAT!
Rihanna
I’D EAT HIS CHIPS FOR DAYS — OH SH*T!!! LADIES!!!!
Chip Days
IF I WORKED OUT AS MUCH AS FERGIE, I WOULD ACTUALLY WALK THE CARPET NUDE WITH A SINGLE SWIFFER DUSTER OVER MY REGION
Fergie
WORST PERSON TO SIT BEHIND
Deadmau5
AND A LIL VEST
Just Blaze
GETTING MY POLYPS REMOVED SO I CAN TURN INTO AN ALL NEW EPISODE OF BONES
Adele
LEAST LIKELY TO SLIP IN THE TUB
Katy Perry
IF YOU STARE LONG ENOUGH, YOU CAN SEE SLUTTY DOLPHINS
Snooki
I LOVE YOUR SHOES BECH
Greta Bech
NOTHING BUT NET
Lady Gaga
IF YOU RUB THEM TOGETHER, THEY’D MAKE BORING FIRE
Gwyneth Paltrow and Taylor Swift
DRESSFORMERS: MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE
Bonnie McKee
HOW HAS THERE NEVER BEEN A MOVIE CALLED LITTLE RED RIDING IN THE HOOD?
Nicki Minaj
SAY YES TO THE DRESS: AFTERLIFE EDITION
Skylar Grey
MOST LIKELY TO HAVE HAIR TOUSLED BY ME
Charlie Wilson
“MY NIECE MADE IT”
Esperanza Spalding
BOOTPANTS!!!
Laurieann Gibson
SMURFIEST MONEY SHOT
La Vida Boheme
MOST LIKELY TO TELL HIS DENTIST “SEE, I WAS PRETENDING IT WAS A CHOCOLATE GRAMMY FOR THE CAMERAS”
Bon Iver
LEVITATIEST
Ryan Tedder
NO JOKE HERE, HE LOOKS AMAZING
Mario Lopez
UNSLICKEST MOVE SINCE THE PENIS IN THE POPCORN BUCKET TRICK
Rihanna and Katy Perry
LOOKING A LITTLE HEFTY. NO, LIKE THE GARBAGE BAG.
MC Lyte
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THE INVENTOR OF AUTOTUNE
David Sharpe and the Papa Hugs Band
I WONK TO BE LOVED BY YOU
Paris
SHIRT MOST LIKELY TO BE SEEN ON CABLE ACCESS TV AT 3 AM
Rick Ross
CLEARLY THE BEST PERSON AT THE GRAMMYS
Monty Alexander
MOST BELOVED BY THE RUSSIAN JUDGE
D’manti
BIGGEST GLAMBERT
Diane Warren
TINIEST ATTENDEES! (AND MY FAVES!)
Rosie and Sophia Grace
BLAME IT ON THE RAINIEST
Victor Cruz and Mario Manningham
ROBE VS WADE
Porcelain Black
THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT, PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE LEGENDARY
Jennifer Hudson
“THEY’RE KIND OF LIKE THE MEXICAN BRIDESMAIDS” – HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE THEIR MUSIC BASED ON THIS PHOTO ALONE
The Mariachi Divas
SASSIEST HITLER YOUTH!
Skrillex
SH*T. HE MISSED.
Stevie Wonder and Chris Brown
“WAIT, HITLER’S NOT ACTUALLY HERE? WELL SH*T.”
Sasha Gradiva
or
MOST ANNOYING PERSON WHO BOUGHT TICKETS TO THE GUN SHOW
Sasha Gradiva
or
RISKIEST HAND JOB
Sasha Gradiva
FAVORITE DRESS OF THE NIGHT, AND I’M NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE I MIGHT GET FIRED IF I DIDN’T
Taylor Swift
SALE ON BUGLE BEADS IN TOWN WHEREVER THIS ONE IS FROM
Jessie J
STUDLIEST
David Guetta
HAPPY SLUT PATRICK’S DAY!
Nancy O’Dell (Side-note: I almost bought this dress once. It’s BCBG and looked terrible on me. Bye!)
MOST LIKELY TO ADMINISTER A VULCAN BREAST PINCH
Coco and Ice-T
BEST UPPER BODY WORKOUT LAST NIGHT
Adele
AND ME AT THE END OF THE GRAMMYS
