Archives Friday, February 17, 2012

by (@hallekiefer)

Molly Sims Is All About Her Latest Accessory: The Baby Bump

Molly Sims is known in part for looking really, really, ridiculously good in a bikini, but there’s only so many times you can rock a set of chiseled abs without wanting to mix it up. Say hello to Molly’s newest accessory! “I bought the belly ball right here,” the Sports Illustrated model and Yes Man actress laughed of her latest adornment. “He’s here. She’s here. We don’t know! Can you guess?”

It’s not just producer husband Scott Stuber, however, who can’t tear himself a way from Molly’s midsection; perfect strangers feel more than comfortable manhandling her bump. “It’s a little weird, I’m not going to lie,” Sims laughs. “But people mean well by it, and also I think it gives good energy.” An accessory that makes you look as good as Sims and makes you okay with people pawing at your stomach? Put our names on the waiting list immediately.

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

We Hear Wedding Bells For Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa

Despite the storm of accusations she’s leveled at Kim Kardashian for allegedly stealing away her ex-Kanye West, Amber Rose seems pretty damn happy in the love life department these days. She and rapper boyfriend Wiz Khalifa have been dating for over a year and claim to be on the marriage track. In fact, they already refer to each other as husband and wife! VH1′s very own Janell Snowden caught up with the happy couple on the red carpet of the 2012 Grammy Awards to get the inside scoop.

“We’re not married yet,” Amber insisted. “We’re gonna do it the right way. We’re going to get married and then eventually have kids.” Wiz agreed, saying that the time was getting nearer. “I’m getting pressured. It’s like the fourth quarter, man. It’s getting close,” he said. “But everyone is going to love it when it does happen.”

Now diamonds may normally be a girl’s best friend, but Amber says that’s not the case when it comes to her wedding ring. When asked if she wanted a big rock, she replied that it didn’t matter. “He can wrap a little piece of paper around my finger, it doesn’t matter.” And if your teeth aren’t rotted by the sweet already, they’re about to be. “She’s my one and only,” Wiz chimed in. “We don’t need paperwork or diamonds…It’s going to be a beautiful lifetime.” Check out the video above, because we don’t want you to see us cry. Don’t worry, they’re happy tears.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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“It’s A Snap!” Is A Very Stupidly Enjoyable Video About Magic Snapping

You know those fun educational videos where one guy’s like “I don’t know what I’m doing!” and a magical dude snaps and appears and explains everything to the first guy then keeps snapping and they keep warping from destination to destination, learning about things along the way? Of course you do.

Well, this video is the best one of those. It’s called “It’s A Snap,” and enjoying it is, in fact, a snap. I can’t offer much more description or make a better joke without giving away the video, so we’ll leave it there (Semi-NSFW):

(Thanks, Matt N!)

by (@hallekiefer)

Robin Thicke Busted For Pot Possession

In case you were wondering whether singer Robin Thicke‘s buttery smoothness was natural or herbally-enhanced…well, this doesn’t really clarify anything, does it? It does, however, shed light on what he does to relax, seeing as how cops busted the singer as he sparked up in a Cadillac Escalade on East 21st Street in Manhattan this afternoon. We can’t say we took Thicke for a huge ganja fan, though we guess that does explain why he went on that diatribe about Paul Patton’s orgasms in Essence back in December. That was not the rational decision of a lucid mind!

Robin joins a recent grab bag of celebs who’ve been arrested for marijuana possession since the new year, including Snoop Dogg and Mirror, Mirror star Armie Hammer. According to TMZ, Thicke was allegedly polite, even signing a few autographs during his arrest. Thankfully the singer was soon released. The man cannot live without his silk pajamas and cognac, and we are 99% those are contraband in prison.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Here’s That Radiohead Floppy Disk From 1997 You Left Lying Around

I truly believe that Hilarious Late-90s Computer Things are the new Hilarious Early 1900s Olde Timey Things. Today’s proof? This Radiohead OK Computer FLOPPY DISK from 1997:

Awesome!!! You can also type in a code to let you play the game Scorched Earth during “Karma Police”.

I’m not sure if this is even real, but I don’t care. I want it to be, and I also want it. I WILL be the first person in Brooklyn with a prominently-displayed collection of floppy disk albums. (Kidding, obviously! The nine-hundredth.)

(via Retronaut)

by (@hallekiefer)

Is Janet Jackson On Her Way To Becoming An X Factor Judge?

Now that Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger have gotten the boot from The X Factor, leaving Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid left to grumble behind the judges’ table, it seems that the show is desperately in need of a Nice Judge. Someone who will get misty-eyed when a 13-year-old belts out a Mariah song, even if that 13-year-old sounds like a rusty rake scraping against a chalkboard. Enter Janet Jackson! According to The Hollywood Reporter, Jackson is in preliminary talks to occupy one of the available slots. When asked by Anderson Cooper if she was already an X Factor judge in an interview set to air Monday, Janet demurred, “No, I am not. But that’s all I really think I should say.” Lord help those contestants if they’re nasty, is all we’re saying.

While the prospect of bringing Beyonce onto the show seems to be nothing but gossip so far, Simon did confirm rumors that the show was in touch with Whitney Houston prior to her passing. “We were ironically going to meet on Monday and of course, one of the names we were going to be talking about in that meeting as a possible mentor on the new series of X Factor was going to be Whitney Houston,” Cowell admitted to Piers Morgan. While Whitney would have been phenomenal on the show, Janet brings a lot of the same qualities to the table: they both seem kind, fair and, most importantly, talented enough for their opinion actually mean something. Simon, we’re looking at you here…

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Adele Denies Reports That She Has A Sex Tape

Rumor has it that Grammy conqueror Adele really made a sex tape. Could it be true? Is there video footage of her rolling in the deep? Setting fire to the sheets?! Chasing pavement!?! We don’t even know what these puns mean anymore. But that’s OK, because apparently none of it’s true. Paparazzo Jean-Claude Elfassi published a report in the French tabloid Public claiming that he possessed a tape of Adele hooking up with the boyfriend that inspired her smash record 21. The article was backed up with cell phone pix purportedly of the British chanteuse “hitting the high notes.” But of course, it’s not really her. It’s just someone like her. Oops.

What’s the french for “sued so hard”? Because that’s exactly what’s gonna happen to Jean-Claude, as Adele is now taking legal action over the false account. She’s approached the famed law firm Schillings to represent her in the suit. “Our client has not appeared in a sex tape as claimed in the article,” they told the Daily Mail. “Our client does not appear in the photographs. Such claims are grossly defamatory.” And with that, we regret to inform you that we’re out of good Adele song puns.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Nick Cannon Quits Radio Show Due To All These Blood Clots

Man, what is going on with Nick Cannon these days? Mariah Carey‘s man just announced that he’s apparently leaving his New York 92.3 radio show Rollin due to a pretty heinous sounding aliment. “A bitter sweet morning. I have to stop my radio show. Doctors orders,” Cannon tweeted mournfully. “The Doctors found blood clots in my lungs and said if I don’t slow down and stop working so hard then it’s a wrap!” Jeez, where does Nick record this radio show from, inside an asbestos mine? The basement of a burning building? A mace factory?

We really hope Cannon is okay, though, seeing as how this is only the latest in a series of recent medical problems for him. The singer was initially hospitalized in Aspen on January 3 due to kidney failure. Sure, it gave us a chance to see pics of him and Mariah Carey getting goofy in a hospital bed, but that just does not seem worth it. “I’ve been in the hospital since Friday,” Nick explained on his show this Wednesday. “I was having a lot of pain in my back. … I learned that I had blood clots in my lung … an enlarged ventricle in the right side of my heart.” As Cannon cheerfully tweeted following his announcement today, “‘Even Super Man had to sleep!’” Hopefully rest, clear fluids and the pudginess of dem babies will get Nick back on his feet soon. In the meantime, maybe Mariah should stop spritzing that diamond dust everywhere? Sure, it looks amazing, but it cannot be easy on the pulmonary system.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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The “What Other People Think I Do” Meme To End Them All

Growing tired of the “What Other People Think I Do” meme? If not, you will soon, and when that happens, here’s the official “meta- backlash” version to end all “What Other People Think I Do” photos (via We Know Memes):

Ahh… Unnecessarily mean, sobering, and ultimately, kind of necessary. Maybe not quite yet, but the meme’s getting there with rapid speed, and if this continues on like the Sh*t ______ People Say extravaganza (someone I know just posted “Sh*t Israel Advocates Say” on Facebook yesterday), then we’re gonna need this photo sooner than later.