We almost didn’t want to write this one, people. Because honestly, for the first time in as long as we can remember, there were no completely egregious fails on the Oscars red carpet tonight. No gowns made out of garbage bags, no inappropriate body parts hanging out, no missing undergarments. So what follows is a list of the people whose outfits were less than than the spectacular fashions we’ve come to expect from their kind. We think we might be struck down on our very couch for daring to criticize Meryl Streep, but that gold material looks more suited for a downtown cabaret backdrop. And Melissa McCarthy, you know we love you. But we wish you would dress to show off your curves, not drape them in bags. Also, it’s really hard for men to make this list, but we’re giving an honorary mention to Bradley Cooper and his silly mustache. You are not a Williamsburg hipster form 2010, you are the Sexiest Man Alive. Now please shave.
Of course, this is just our humble opinion. Peruse the gallery below and defend or attack as you please in the comments below!
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[Photo: Getty Images]