Rihanna, The ’90s Called. They Do Not Want Their Clothes Back.

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Rihanna, where did you find that frosted lipstick, baseball cap, and button-down shirt tied around your waist? Were they buried in a time capsule behind your middle school? That’s the only explanation we could think of for why the outfit you wore in London today looks like it just arrived from 1997, the last year it was acceptable to wear this many shades of pale denim in one ensemble. We found love in a hopeless place, Rihanna? More like we found clothes in an old suitcase…that, again, had been buried behind your middle school.

Of course, this outfit is only marginally worse than the one you wore yesterday. We know you don’t give a bleach-spattered sweatshirt what people think about your style, but a visor, purposefully torn tee and bright white sneaks scream “junior high trip to Busch Gardens” no matter who’s wearing them. Throw in a fanny pack, a Big Gulp and an upside-down map of Orlando and you could be trailing your English class around Disney World circa 1998. Ugh, and yet you still manage to look kind of fierce. You defy the space-time continuum, RiRi.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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