15 Photos Of What Snooki’s Baby Will Probably Look Like (For Real This Time)


Ed. Note: Exactly one month ago, rumors abounded that Snooki was pregnant. Upon hearing the news, my uterus grew small brown legs and stormed out of my body. I then immediately “took to the nets!” as my mother would never say, and put together the following list: 15 Photos Of What Snooki’s Baby Will Probably Look Like. Then, minutes later, turns out Snooki’s womb was not occupied by a pizza-flavored almond, and our lives resumed their usual purpose (to keep living).

But guess what: NOW SHE REALLY IS PREGNANT. So please re-read this list with a new sense of excitement and holy-sh*tness, because it’s real now, and it’s happening. Here we go:

Nicole Elizabeth “Snooki” Polizzi is the 24 year old (pause for heart to stop because I thought she was 30 OK it’s beating again let’s move on) star of Jersey Shore. If you didn’t already know that, then this next sentence won’t phase you at all: This morning, the world thought she was pregnant. No. I know. I also thought smearing self-tanner all over your “smush room” (vagina) acted as some sort of guido spermicide but I guess I was wrong.

For hours, it was as if we were ALL waiting in that Chili’s handicapped stall with Snooki for that first response stick to give her the big news. Alas, it seems that Gianni and Snooki will not be the World’s Greatest Melanoma Carriers Parents just yet! Snooki reports that her womb is still empty, save for some Corona bottle caps she put up there “as a joke.”

But we can’t help but think back to those wonderful few hours where we thought that Snooki would give birth to a small baby/clump of sprayed hair. Can you imagine??? Snooki’s baby would kind of be the cutest!!! Using some of her own baby photos and some that we found on our own, here are 15 Photos of What Snooki’s Baby Will Probably Look Like, though we all know the answer is clearly: #1.



Again, #1 = The winner. Clicky Clickardo.