There are two things on Earth that terrify me more than any other: Roaches and lightning. My fear of lightning stems from mainly being taller than everyone else. Let’s face it: If I’m standing with friends in the rain, there’s only one person that lightning is coming after, and it’s me. I will crab walk from the mall to my car during the rain to avoid such an occurrence.
Perhaps if I had known about Licthenberg figures, I’d be more “large and in charge” (muhliterally) while sashaying back to my sensible sedan in a storm. That’s right: Lightning scars look like awesome tree branch tattoos. Makes the whole “turning your body into a living pork rind” concept a little easier to swallow.