When Abby Lee Miller Loses Her Voice, The World Suffers


Dance Moms might be the most painfully addictive show on television after My Strange Addiction (just caught the woman addicted to sniffing Pine Sol episode… we should probably tweet about that at some point). The show features a woman named Abby Lee Miller who has never danced a day in her life save for pirouetting around the buffet at Souplantation.

if you’ve never seen the show, a summary: Abby Lee Miller berates a small group of talented young dancers while their mothers berate each other and Abby but for some reason let the abuse continue. What makes the show so lovable is that a. the girls are very sweet and quite talented and b. for the most part, the mothers are great (save for Jill). Abby is the one cancer that permeates the entire show with hatred, which I think is why we keep coming back? I’m not actually sure. All I know is, watching the female Louis Anderson scream at young skinny gals for barely making mistakes on the dance floor gives me a sort of perverse pleasure that, in short, is clearly what is wrong with our society.

Abby appeared on Access Hollywood Live (another guilty pleasure) to defend her slothy actions with the girls. And to make fatters worse, she’s nearly lost her voice, making her extra demony. She blames it on some sort of mold issue, when clearly she’s just been eating dirt from the garden again. Anyway, watch as she tries to defend herself to Holly Robinson Peete, who is having none of it. (Also I barely made it through the whole thing because of the voice.)