According to Variety, Jake Gyllenhaal is now replacing Dominic Cooper as the strong, silent type in the upcoming action-drama Motor City, a thriller that costars Amber Heard and Gary Oldman and follows “a recently released felon [who] seeks revenge against those who framed him and put him in jail.” Gyllenhaal will be so silent, in fact, that his protagonist allegedly speaks one sentence the entire film. If the movie follows the novel it was based on, that is. So basically the film will be like The Artist…but with more felonies!
Now, we could make a joke about how we don’t need Jake to say more than one line because all we want is to see that sweet, sweet, chiseled jaw on-screen. However, that wouldn’t really be a joke since the sentiment behind it is true. While we’re interested to see what Gyllenhaal and his sweet, sweet sinewy torso will do with the role, we’re more interested in finding out what that one line is. We’re sure the screenwriters will adapt it from the book, but in the meantime might we suggest one of the following:
- “GIVE ME BACK MY SON!”
- “You guys are such jerks!”
- “Dude, you dropped your wallet like way back there.”
- “With pleasure!”
- “No seriously…who farted?”
[Photo: Getty Images]