10 Weird Things About Rihanna’s Sexy New Armani Jeans Ad

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Rihanna’s Armani ads consistently make us feel like we need to invest in new jeans and new undies and, well, new gym memberships. Her new Armani Jeans commercial, however, makes us feel like we’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of the mind. And like maybe Rihanna‘s apartment is haunted by sexy ghosts? Or she has some kind of terrifying memory problem…in a hot way? By our count, here are the ten oddest parts of RiRi’s spooky new spot:

  1. The fact RiRi is sleeping in her bra. We’ve all fallen asleep on the sofa watching 30 Rock, but girl’s brassiere looks like it’s going to suffocate her in the middle of the night.
  2. Rihanna owns a rotary phone.
  3. Not only does Rihanna own a rotary phone, she doesn’t seem to notice that it is off the hook, despite the loud beeping sound. Maybe you would stop tossing and turning all night if you would just hang up the phone, girl!
  4. Oh wait…Rihanna does hang up the phone, only to find it inexplicably off the hook again. Whaaaa? Is this real life? We’re calling it now: poltergeist.
  5. Rihanna has a Polaroid photo of a sink in her Memento-style notebook. Is this an homage to Memento? Who takes a photo of a sink? Is that sink haunted? It is, isn’t it?
  6. As if Rihanna would own that tiny little broken TV. As if.
  7. The water coming out of RiRi’s faucet is instantaneously boiling hot, revealing…
  8. The words “Airport 6:00″ written on the mirror. So…did Rihanna write those words there earlier to remind herself of her early flight? This is like Memento, but with more butt shots!
  9. Rihanna uses paper airplane tickets. What is this, 1990?
  10. The idea that RiRi’s sexy pants-related fever dream would make us want to run out and buy Armani jeans. It does, however, make us want to watch a Twilight Zone marathon while doing lunges and squats. Because, damn girl.
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