Here Are The Only 2 American Idol Performances That Mattered This Week

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Given how bad the last few season of American Idol were, and the new addition of The Voice into our infinite and hungry DVR abyss, it wouldn’t surprise me in the last if many of you have given up on Idol completely. And you’re not completely wrong. They’re already down to 12 contestants, now 11 given that Jermaine Jones was booted from the finalists for lying about outstanding arrest warrants. (Is being a lovable giant bear illegal where he is from? No thank you.)

But seeing as it’s still fairly early in the season, Fox is cranking out two-hour long performance shows followed by an hour long results show every week. Three hours of your time that could be spent doing something else, like filing or listening to Abba in the dark. So rather than recap the entire episode, why not save both of us some much needed time listening to Abba in the dark and get to the only two performances that mattered. Here we go:

1. Jessica Sanchez, “Turn The Beat Around.”

Well I mean in an ideal world this girl wins. In the world we live in, Phil Phillips will probably walk away with the contract, because we live in a world populated by 11 year olds with an unlimited supply of Plan B. But Jessica Sanchez has perhaps the best voice I have ever heard coming out of a newborn Asian. She’s unstoppable, and even though she sang my least favorite song of all time, still performed above and beyond the rest of the contestants.

Well…. except for one.

2. Joshua Ledet, “When A Man Loves A Woman.”

I rewatched this performance 3 times while fanning myself in the Baptist church I just built in my living room. This was amaaaaaazing. Look, the little Australian girl, Hollie Cavanagh, she’s cute, but I was not that blown away. This however… was something else. It was like Sexual Chocolate sings James Brown. When he took that jacket off? Chile I nearly fainted.

Tonight, if there is any God and they really do eliminate someone, we will finally say goodbye to Erika Van Pelt, who has a permanent case of orange juice saliva throat. What’d you think of this week’s performances?

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