Jessica Simpson has made a second career out of ripping farts and making barfs and telling us all about them, so why should the gift of motherhood change her beautiful openness in any way? “I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha!” Jessica laughed about her massive baby belly on Jimmy Kimmel LIVE! last night. “Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it will be like a fire hydrant!” Annnnnnd does anyone want the rest of our Jamba Juice? No, seriously, we aren’t going to finish it. Or any other liquid. Ever again.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Now, keeping that hilariously graphic mental image in mind, please listen to the (NSFW) verse Drake wrote specifically for his new GQ interview, during which he discusses his…uh…special relationship with Lil Wayne. “It’s just the industry’s small, we all lust for the same women,” he raps. “You know the ones we saw before we came in it, I know we aint tripping/ I know I got a couple things that Lil Wayne dipped in, ain’t ashamed to admit it.” Drake! Come on! First you romance us with wine and a waterfall, now you’re acting straight-up disgusting. We have to go take a shower forever, but in the meantime, tell us: which celeb story is more TMI?