Wilmer Valderrama And Ashley Olsen, Please Teach Us How To Get Game

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I’ve met Wilmer Valderrama. He actually seemed rather sweet and smart. But I’ve also seen Minka Kelly in person. Those two do not orbit in the same solar system of hotness. And yet, like Lindsay Lohan, Demi Lovato and Mandy Moore before her, Minka was spotted “kissing and grinding” with the That ’70s Show alum at a club in L.A. over the weekend. Dude must be suuuper charming.

And in other unbelievable couple news, In Touch (the kings of unbelievable couple news) has a story about Johnny Depp visiting Ashley Olsen’s Tribeca apartment for two days back in February. Johnny. Freaking. Depp. Who is 48 and still claiming to be with Vanessa Paradis, despite rumors of their split. Actually, the story says that he was seen leaving a building connected to Ashley’s building on February 27, and then quotes another source saying he arrived there on February 26. But anyway, say we were to believe this story — the 25-year-old actress-turned-fashion-maven also has a pretty nice collection of exes, including The Hangover’s Justin Bartha, Lance Armstrong and Jared Leto.

So what we’re saying is, Ashley and Wilmer, can you please teach us your magical courtship rituals? This might be your ticket to no longer being associated with long-dead sitcom careers. And our ticket to snagging love interests waaay out of our league too.