Cosmopolis Teaser Trailer: Maybe More Twilight-y Than Robert Pattinson Planned

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Remember that time in Twilight when Edward Cullen was a jaded young billionaire who liked to play with guns and have dirty sex in his limo on the way to get his haircut? Um, well, no. Robert Pattinsons not really channeling his sensitive hero to play Eric Packer in David Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis. From what we can tell after seeing the teaser for the movie, a French-subtitled version making the rounds today, he’s playing someone harder than a vampire’s glittery skin. “Show me something I don’t know,” he tells the half-naked woman pointing a gun at his chest, his accent kind of reminding us of Robert De Niro’s in Taxi Driver.

What we do know is that, as much as RPattz may want to shed Edward Cullen and attract a new audience to his work with his role, the Twi-hards are going to follow him through whatever left turns he takes in his career. Witness Cosmopolis’ surprise win in MTV’s Movie Brawl in January. The dark twistiness of a Cronenberg film may come as a shock to some Twilight fans, but not to those grownup ones who, after all, are devoted to a series about young people who drink blood to live forever. So now we’re going to play a little game called Twilight/Not Twilight with this teaser.

1. Not Twilight:

A half-naked lady.

2. Twilight:

RPattz shirtless, lying on his back.

3: Not Twilight:

Bullets wouldn’t pierce through Edward’s hand, duh.

4. Twilight:

Both Edward and Eric have an air of detachment as they watch regular people have their fun.

5. Not Twilight:

Don’t think we’ve ever seen Edward walk quite this casually.

6. Twilight:

Looking like he’d really like to suck this girl’s blood.

7. Not Twilight:

Casual intercourse.

8. Twilight:

Aversion to direct, true-nature-revealing light.

9. Not Twilight:

Giant rats.

We could go on like this all day, but maybe it’s your turn to play!

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