One, two, three, not it! We are not about to break it to Snooki that the infant she is cheerfully carting around Jersey City this week is just a lump of molded plastic, not her very own tiny ShortnTan (despite what the life-like peeing function might suggest). Damn the invention of the Cabbage Patch doll! Damn it right to hell! Not that JWoww is helping any; the Jersey Shore costar had her own bundle of store-bought joy as the two mommy-ed it up for the cameras. So we guess you have to tell her, too. Yes, you! Didn’t we say “not it” first? The defense rests!
We’re kidding, of course. We know Nicole and Jenni are just using the world as their home ec class for the benefit of their upcoming spin-off. They’re practicing how to get ready for Snooki’s newborn: picking out a stroller, purchasing a wardrobe of baby clothes, introducing it to leopard print. We completely understand. It’s probably hard to make scintillating TV out of footage of Snooki picking out a douala, Googling “meconium” (note: do not Google meconium) and rubbing cocoa butter on her abdomen to reduce stretch marks. Except now that we typed out those scenarios…that is all we want to see.
[Photo: Splash News Online]