You can keep your Justin Bieber “Boyfriend”‘s and your Flo-rida’s and Hunger Games Original Score soundtracks. See, what you may not know about me is that while my blog posts reek with elegance and grace, I actually write them at home, in sweatpants (sometimes I don’t even have the energy for sweatpants), Starbucks Via in hand, bangs Beakering themselves above my forehead, and usually if not daily, watching a variety of kind of terrible morning television usually reserved for the dead elderly whose family still hasn’t checked in on them even though it’s been weeks.
One of the downsides of this work ethic is this:
One of the upsides, however, is this:
Watching commercials geared towards the aged can get tiresome — if I see one more trans-vaginal mesh add *shakes fist* — but I will suffer through endless catheter ads in order to hear the amazing Hoveround jingle. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever heard of anything so sweet and earnest in my life. AND CATCHY! I mean, where WILL it send him?! Pay attention OWN, I’m smelling a companion piece to Rollin’ With Zach. (Where is Zach these days? Anyone? Oprah?)
Let them just hook one of them Hoverounds up with Wifi and mood lighting and I might just take this blogging gig on the road.