As was announced yesterday, tomorrow will be my last day here at BWE.tv. But while I comb through old posts to bring you a MICHCOLL MEGAMIX of delights tomorrow, why not revert to one of my favorite weekend past times: Pointing and laughing and fat animals. And who else to bring us this flabby menagerie of delights other than “The most prestigious newspaper in the world” (– Rob Kardashian) Daily Mail. It’s a gallery of fat ass animals who don’t know what zumba is because they don’t speak English or watch The Today Show.
Yes, some kindred spirit in England has started a Biggest Loser competition for fat pets. Let’s meet our contestants:
This is Fifi. She was starved as a kitten, and like so many New York City prep school students, now has an addiction to food. She also looks exactly like the cat version of Paula Deen. Get this cat some “booter and oiiiyull Sayyyeth.”
This is Deco. He’s a yellow lab who weighs 121 pounds. (!!!) Just to give you an idea of how much that is, Deco weighs three times as much as Giada De Laurentiis (including head).
Cavalier Jack hasn’t spoken to his mother in 12 years.
Fat animals don’t give a fat f*ck ahead.
This is Bailey the border collie. He has no interest in how much he weighs and I don’t blame him. He also uses a hoveround to gather sheep together.
Maverick weighs 22 pounds but, to be fair, is as tall as a man.
Here’s Fifi again. She weighs 21 pounds. She’s also stopped breathing. Cat paddles anyone?
Here’s Mini-moo. In the immortal words of Martin Lawrence “Wash ya ass.”
You know what all these pets could use
ONE OF THESE! Doggie Stairmovier.
Sigh… I’m gonna miss you, you fat furry pieces of sh*t. (The animals, not you. I’ll miss you too, but, you read me.)