The 20 Things You Find When Looking For Last Year’s Tax Return


I had my annual appointment with my tax guy this week, which is USUALLY the one day a year I actually feel like something resembling an actual adult (I’m shoveling Starburst Crazy Beans into my mouth while typing this), except for this year, because I spent several hours tearing my room apart looking for my 2011 tax forms and couldn’t find them, but what I DID find was just random stupid thing after random stupid thing to remind me that I’m a complete failure as a functional grownup.

Here are 20 Things I Found Much Quicker Than My 2011 Tax Forms – hopefully most of you who’ve wasted a day looking for something can relate:

1. Two Copies Of Super Mario Bros. 3

2. Incubus Ticket Stub From 2002

3. Ernest DVDs

4. Darth Maul Mask

5. Rubber Duck With Top Hat

6. Garfield Diary

7. Parking Receipt From 2010

8. Pirate Ship Pop-Up Book

9. Pittsburgh Newspaper From 2007

10. Macadamia Nut Cookies

11. “From Wolf To Woof” Magnet

12. Beatles CD That Burned Incorrectly

13. Birthday Card From Hallmark “Mahogany” Line

14. Blockbuster Card

15. List Of Relievers From Yahoo Fantasy Baseball ’09

16. Unsharpened Dilbert Pencils

17. Parking Ticket From 2007

18. “Good Luck In NY” Card From Younger Cousin (I Moved Here In 2004)

19. Slightly Dusty Mini Mets Helmet

20. 2007 Tax Forms

Other embarrassing ‘looking for stuff’ stories? Leave them in the comments, fellow definitely-adults!

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