Bikini season is coming soon, people, but you should not be worried. Dwayne Johnson’s G.I. Boot Camp will whip you into shape just in time. Oh, what’s that? This is the new trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation, not an ad for the Rock’s new workout program? Maaaaybe. We do seem to recall seeing a lot of explosions and robots and an evil robot president impersonator guy (and only 2 seconds of Channing Tatum, which should be a federal crime, but whatever). But mostly, what’s sticking in our mind is some major inspiration to hit the gym right now. Here are the basic selling points of the G.I. Joe workout:
Looking this good in a simple T-shirt is difficult, but it is the best way to rally a group around your rogue operation to save the world. Roadblock (Johnson) will show you how.
Roadblock’s upper body workout probably involves these chains. For only his most advanced students, of course.
Young Flint (D.J. Cotrona), will show you that perfectly sculpted shoulders are important, whether you are chatting with your boss or holding very heavy, world-saving automatic weapons.
Adrianne Palicki, a.k.a. Lady Jaye, is on hand to assure you that bad-ass biceps are not just for the boys.
Storm Shadow (Byung-Hun Lee) will demonstrate how to build core strength and flexibility, which can help you in everyday stressful situations and those times when you must defeat your mortal enemies.
Situps are for the weak. General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) keeps your abs workout challenging for mind and body, using large guns and a moving vehicle.
Rock-climbing and fencing are also available, at an additional cost. G.I. Joe: Retaliation hits theaters on June 29.