It’s only Monday, and already I’m in super-rant mode, people. Gossip bloggers will not let go of this rumor that Taylor Swift got breast implants. Which, if she did, good for her. But the “evidence” is so highly suspicious — photos of her looking flat in a little bikini top and her looking like a healthy C in this dress; plus the fact that she went (gasp!) bra shopping last week — that we want to scream. Instead, we will calmly turn this into a public service announcement for all of the people who think that surgery is the only way women sometimes look bustier than they did before. Here are a few things you should know:
1. Bras. Sometimes, like in the photo on the left above, taken in Sydney this March, slim girls like Taylor don’t wear bras (and the rest of us are supremely jealous of this ability). Sometimes, like in the other two photos above, taken in early April at the Academy of Country Music Awards on April 1 and at Dianna Agron’s house last week, they do wear bras. The difference is often drastic. Especially if you’re wearing a fancy, boob-enhancing bra like the Victoria’s Secret Earth Angels push-up bra, which claims to make you look two cup sizes bigger. Amazingly, some blogs are pointing to the fact that Swift bought Earth Angels bras as proof that she went under the knife. Huh? Also, dresses like the one Swift donned for Agron’s little Shirley MacLaine birthday soiree last week have nice sturdy wiring that gives you curves.
2. There are also such things as cutlets and cookies and name-your-food-of-choice to give you a busty silhouette, when one is called for.
3. Sometimes — actually, a lot of times — women’s breasts get bigger for a few days a month. For those of you who slept through health class, here’s a primer on nature’s occasional boob job.
4. Taylor is clearly having so much fun playing dress-up with Dianna and baking cupcakes with Selena Gomez and having a totally amazing career and dating every hot guy in Hollywood that we have a hard time believing she would take time off to change her perfectly willowy figure permanently. At least, that’s the impression she’s given us …
[Photos: Splash News Online, Getty Images, Twitter]