In his profile of Justin Bieber for the June issue of GQ, writer Drew Magary spends the better part of four pages describing his frustrated attempts to do something other than a typical sitdown with the “Boyfriend” singer. (And by the way, none of it is very surprising for anyone who’s ever tried to interview the Biebs; his people are insanely protective.) But as you laugh or tear your hair out while reading the story, you will also find yourself swinging back and forth on the main premise: Is JB a “swaggy adult” as he hilariously proclaims, or is he a teenage boy? Here are some clues to help you decide:
Bieber Is a Boy:
- His “people” won’t let him do any of the manly rites of passage things proposed, such as “drinking, smoking, drinking, going to a titty bar, gambling, drinking, shooting things, drinking.”
- There are penises drawn all over the grease board in his studio. (We don’t know who drew them for sure.)
- He (or his people) suggests boxing with the writer as an appropriate interviewing activity.
- “Like every other teenager in the universe, Bieber evades questions by staring directly at the floor.”
- He records temporary vocals on a track with a mouth full of Swedish Fish.
Bieber Is a Man:
- He cancels one of the interviews to have dinner with his mom. That is not something a teenager would do.
- He has someone rip off his sleeves to psych himself up for recording. That’s the kind of thing we can imagine most men would love to do, if they had a stylist and an endless supply of T-shirts.
- He thinks better of the boxing idea because, “I didn’t want to get my ass kicked.”
- He doesn’t binge drink. “For me, it’s just like, I like to be in control of myself. I mean, I’ve had a beer, like, before…. But I never get out of control.”
- He defends a lady’s honor. Well, Kim Kardashian’s honor: “You guys are so mean, bro. … People say she doesn’t do anything; she actually does do stuff. … She works hard.”
What do you think? In our experience, it’s kind of hard to tell a 37-year-old man from a teenage boy, so maybe we will never know!