Miley Cyrus, girl, we are sort of stunned at the level of self-awareness you demonstrate in your interview with Amanda de Cadenet on The Conversation last week. “[Kids] have a TV, so they know what sex is,” you explained. “So educate them and let them know that they wouldn’t be here without it, and that it’s a beautiful thing, and it is magic, and it’s when you connect with somebody. And it isn’t how much you’re worth. Your worth isn’t based on that, your worth is based on how you feel about yourself.” Impressively level-headed, dude! So we thought there might be a few other things you might want to be self-aware of, since it seems like you are on the self-discovery tip…
First of all, lady, think about wearing a bra. Hear us out! First, you let the girls roam free at the Billboard Music Awards on Sunday, now today you’re covering them with a wee bit of fabric while scampering around L.A. On one hand, thems is your breasts! Do with them what you will! On the other hand, someday you’re going to look back and wish you had worn a supportive underwire as an investment in your future chestular region. And as an investment in not having to cringe at photos of yourself from your teens. Plus, remember when you told The Conversation, “[It used to be] if you’re a woman you do not sing about sex, and now, if that’s not what you’re singing about, if that’s not your entire image, you won’t get played.” Once you’re as high up in the industry as you are, you can literally rebel against the system by wearing a turtle neck and foundation garments. Or just like…pants. Or a whole shirt. Consider the possibilities!
Oh, and this is totally unrelated, but look…there is a certain number of dogs a person can own before their house just smells like dogs all the time, no matter how much or how frequently they clean. We think the limit is three. We think you own five…thousand. We only criticize because we care! It’s true! Just ask our friends and families!
[Photo: Getty Images]