50 Celebrity Names That Sound Like Game Of Thrones Characters


New Party Game! In apropos of nothing, we’ve spent the last two days coming up with Celebrities Whose Names Sound Like Game Of Thrones Characters – meaning, actors, musicians, athletes, and other famous people whose real-life names contain some combination of fantasy-ness, pseudo-ethnicity, and juuust-slightly-offitude worthy of a bonafide Westeros inhabitant.

Here are our favorite 50 Celebrity Names That Sound Like Game Of Thrones Characters, along with descriptions of who their names would be on the show (not who they’d be, just the names), ranked from 50 to 1 in order of Game Of Throneyness. Leave your own suggestions in the comments – we stupidly can’t get enough of these:

50. Baz Luhrmann

Director of Moulin Rouge; Shifty mage apprentice to the warlock Pyat Pree

49. Jurnee Smollet

Played Jess on Friday Night Lights; Homely Winterfell commoner who attracts Theon’s affections

48. Joaquin Phoenix

Star of Gladiator and Walk The Line; Standard-Bearer of House Feynix (Season 5)

47. Alastair Fothergill

Producer of Planet Earth and Disney’s Chimpanzee; Decorated Royal Guard of the southern village Gander’s Tooth

46. Paz De La Huerta

Boardwalk Empire actress; Wildling who got naked as I was typing this

45. Pau Gasol

Lakers forward; Unruly Dothraki dissident

44. Regina Spektor

Singer-songwriter; Female ranger nicknamed “The Spektor” because she can move silently and all GoT words need to be one letter off

43. Benedict Cumberbatch

Star of Sherlock; Night’s Watch deserter turned olive farmer

42. Tyler The Creator

Rapper and producer; Deluded Iron-Throne seeker full of magical boasts

41. Takeo Spikes

Veteran NFL linebacker; Scheming emerald-alchemist in Qarth’s “Shadow Area”

40. Adrien Brody

Star of The Pianist and King Kong; One of Robert Baratheon’s secret bastards with a heart of silver

39. Kanye West

Rapper/Producer/Tweeter; Noble-born southern youth who longs to join The Opal Swordsmen

38. Damon Albarn & Graham Coxon

Members of Blur; Incognito arrowhead-thieves operating under the Brotherhood Without Banners

37. Coco Chanel

Fashion designer; Sassy direwolf

36. Jordany Valdespin

New York Mets utility infielder; Wise but surly candlemaker of the Pyke village

35. Jackson Rathbone

Jasper from the Twilight movies; Known simply as “Rathbone,” his grey magic threatens to confuse the Starks

34. Gore Vidal

Author and political activist; Deceased former captain of the king’s guard whose likeness graces the Shrine Of The Guardade Unblinking

33. Aidan Quinn

Veteran character-actor; Killed and fed to his Night’s Watch companions after looking near Craster’s daughters

32. Dweezil & Ahmet Zappa

Multitalented sons of Frank Zappa; Dothraki slaves who may be Daeny’s only hope for navigating The Sea Of Legless Manys

31. Andrew Bird

Musician; Bran’s pet raven

30. Emma Stone

Starred in The Help and Superbad; Enchantress who once possessed the coveted Rib Of Thwain

29. Djimon Honsou

Co-star of Gladiator and Blood Diamond; Red Waste trader who’s willing to open his caravan to Daenerys…for a price

28. Les Moonves

President of CBS; Stark-loyal King’s Guard exiled by Joffrey to the remote Marshes of Sparrowmoss

27. Emeril Lagasse

Celebrity chef; Knight of House Bamme

26. Idris Elba

Star of The Wire and numerous films; Only jouster in King’s Landing who’s never lost in the Thirdmoon’s Melee

25. Bear Grylls

Star of Man vs. Wild; Gruff giant who Arya dreams of killing

24. Dov Charney

American Apparel founder; Incorruptible eunuch-soldier of Storm’s End

23. Hugo Weaving

Co-star of The Matrix and Lord Of The Rings; Eyeless thief with an endless knowledge of arboreal mythology

22. Ethan Hawke

Star of Dead Poets Society and Training Day; Virtuous fruiter’s cousin who falls for Arya

21. Adele

Musician; Stannis’ semi-magical companion who is constantly stirring a cauldron

20. Jair Jurrjens

Atlanta Braves pitcher; Half-Dothraki offspring whose hidden heritage is punishable by death twice

19. Ronaldinho

Brazilian soccer player; Daenerys follower betrayed while betraying Daenerys

18. Sparrow James Midnight Madden & Harlow Winter Kate Madden

Children of Nicole Richie and Joel Madden; Rightful heirs to the throne at Maddonblayze

17. Jrue Holiday

Philadelphia 76ers point guard; Lannister cousin whose name is almost ‘Drew’

16. Crispin Glover

Back to the Future co-star; Plays himself

15. Goran Visnjic

ER co-star; Drawn and quartered for ice-treachery in the court at Dragonstone

14. Griffin Goldsmith

Drummer for Dawes; Legendary sharpshooter of the Iron Islands wielding “The Crossbow Of Unmissing”

13. Imogen Poots

Co-star of 28 Weeks Later and Fright Night; Crafty hay merchant’s daughter determined to seduce Jorah Mormont

12. Bjork

Icelandic singer; Court Jester at The Eyrie who secretly controls Robin Arryn with an ancient Brainage spell

11. Landon Pigg

British singer; Samwell Tarly’s fatter, clumsier Night’s Watch companion

10. Tarkan

Turkish Singer; Xaro’s pet wrathtiger

9. Sybelle Silverphoenix

Actress and model; Jeor Mormont’s stowaway mistress who boasts she can “out-halberd any male Ranger”

8. The Edge

U2 guitarist; Rival of The Hound, The Mountain, and The Big

7. Eliza Dushku

Appeared in Buffy, Angel, and many films; Cleric of Sand’s Equinox, the most chill city in the Red Waste

6. Kal-El Cage

Son of Nicolas Cage; Least docile Dothraki horse

5. Moon Bloodgood

Terminator: Salvation co-star; Prophet-disciple of Walthqynn, The Ancient God of Butts and Grain

4. Lark Voorhies

Lisa from Saved By The Bell; Disgraced Targaryen war-champion whose name, if mentioned, is punishable by ratbucket

3. Fedor Tyutin

Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman; Night’s Watch disciple of Qhorin Halfhand and avid fingerer

2. Fairuza Balk

Co-star of The Craft and American History X; Season 4 is just 10 episodes of her f***ing a dude made out of fire

1. Agyness Deyn

English fashion model; So Game Of Thrones-sounding, the series is revealed to have been her dream the whole time

Honorable Mentions (Too on-the-nose to actually be on the show): Wolf Blitzer, Armie Hammer, Dick Wolf… Got some more? Leave them in the comments – this game, like Game Of Thrones, should go on literally forever.

(Thanks to Liz Black, Lauren Olson, and Nate Kushner for saying names to me then us laughing for the last two days)

(P.S. – The descriptions are nonsensical, no need to try to figure them out / correct me that ‘Gander’s Tooth’ is not a place / read them at all)

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