The Weirdness Of Christian Bale Described By His Assistant’s Tell-All Just Makes Us Like Him More

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Christian Bale‘s former assistant Harrison Cheung seems like he’s out for blood with his new tell-all Christian Bale: The Inside Story of the Darkest Batman, claiming, “It only took me five years of therapy to get past my Bale years. My therapist would describe my condition as post-traumatic stress disorder.” While the details like the fact Christian refused to pay Cheung unless he signed a confidentiality agreement after Cheung started working for him seemed profoundly sketch, other bizarro specifics…actually make us like Bale more. Let’s be real, after the world heard his rant from the set of Terminator: Salvation, we all knew this guy was a little nuts. Certain anecdotes from Cheung’s tell-all, however, make Christian seem nuts in an fabulous, eccentric movie star way. For example…

  • Bales’ on-going rivalry with Leo DiCaprio: DiCaprio snapped up roles Bale wanted from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? to Romeo & Juliet to Titanic. After temporarily losing his American Psycho role to DiCaprio, Bale ranted to Cheung, “Losing this role is like having a pencil shoved through my brain.” That sentence just proves they ended up going with the right guy!
  • Bale could have been James Bond…but it went against his morals: Producer of the Bond movies Barbara Broccoli (Barbara Broccoli!) hinted that Christian could be the next 007 after Pierce Brosnan stepped aside; Bale sniffed that the spy character embodied “every despicable stereotype about England and British actors,” telling Broccoli he had “already played a serial killer.” Diva, please.
  • Bale had no tolerance for fans intruding on him and his family: He would allegedly “lecture little girls about being rude and intrusive until tears streamed down their faces, and their parents tugged them away from our table.” Who wouldn’t love to have that story to tell in homeroom? Now we want to pester Christian just to see his reaction! Oh wait…we guess the tell-all did do its job then…