It was about this time last year that America was caught up in the tiger-blod-soaked, warlock-populated insanity that was Charlie Sheen‘s extremely public meltdown. While the man has fortunately moved on, even landing new show Anger Management, the actor obviously hasn’t forgotten The Dark Times either. “Clearly, a guy gets fired, his relationships are in the toilet, he’s off on some f—ing tour, there’s nothing ‘winning’ about any of that,” Sheen told this month’s Rolling Stone. “I mean, how does a guy who’s obviously quicksanded, how does he consider any of it a victory? I was in total denial.” He took the words right out of our mouth! Of course, Charlie’s dismissal from Two and a Half Men and divorce from Brooke Mueller were only a few of the shocking parts of his crash, and nowhere near the craziest. The five most jaw-dropping moments of his breakdown (as we remember it) would have to be:
1. That coke-fueled hotel room trashing: The first and perhaps the most conspicuous event in Charlie’s months-long meltdown was his October 2010 rampage through New York’s Plaza Hotel, during which he ransacked his room and allegedly held porn star Capri Anderson against her will. If only we could have foreseen the absurdity to follow…
2. Jon Cryer beef: Sheen called his Two and a Half Men costar a “a troll” for a host of perceived slights. A completely uncalled for insult, but on the other hand, lol.
3. Sheen’s bizarro rants against producer Chuck Lorre: “Can you smell your mother’s tears, from some distant memory as she scattered her pathetic creation, asking all around her why this feeble abortion survived?,” Sheen inquired. We’re guessing the answer was no.
4. The goddesses! Sheen showed off his lady friends Bree Olsen and Cali Chronic pin-up Natalie Kenly on the Today show, explaining, “These women don’t judge me, lead with opinions, lead with their own needs all the time. They are honest enough to say, park your nonsense. What I tell them is don’t live in the middle. Get away from your ego and emotions. Therein lies the solution.” Wha?
5. The annual Gathering of the Juggalos: Is there a more fitting end to a peculiar, though only semi-tragic, tale than to see Charlie Sheen get pelted with garbage by thousands of clown people? Seriously though, we’re very lucky we didn’t lose this guy.
[Photo: Getty Images]