The Most Shocking Local News Story You’ll Ever See

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NBC 4 New York just broke THIS CHILLING STORY which will shock you to death or somewhere near death with its shocking scaryness:

Kids? On…FACEBOOK?? No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN???? [Storing gas in jugs as we speak, as the Road Warrior apocalypse has surely arrived.]