500 Years Later, David Arquette Finally Files For Divorce


David Arquette Files For Divorce From Courteney Cox

You might find this news unfathomable, but it’s true: David Arquette and Courteney Cox are still legally married, despite having separated all the way back in October 2010. That’s like being separated for a millennium in HMT (Hollywood Marriage Time)! Factoring in Arquette’s erratic appearance on Jimmy Kimmel last month, intermittent rumors about Cox getting it on with her Cougar Town costar Josh Hopkins and mutual overshares with Howard Stern last year, it’s a wonder it took until now for David Arquette to officially file divorce papers. Do you think he literally forgot he was married? We would honestly not put it past the man…

According to TMZ, Arquette cited “irreconcilable differences” on the filing he submitted last Friday; he is asking for joint legal and physical custody of the couple’s daughter Coco, and did not request spousal or child support. Overall, looks like a quiet end to a crazy…wait, what’s that? Arquette is representing himself in the divorce? He’s not getting a lawyer? Plus the papers he filed are dated March 23, implying that he just sat on them for three months? Oh boy. Well, we look forward to finding out the outcome of their divorce. Or rather, we look forward to our great-great-grandchildren finding out the outcome of their divorce, seeing as how we’ll be dead and gone for any number of decades at that point.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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