We’re silently cheering Frank Ocean on as we type this. He posted a long, rambling note on his website yesterday that started off with, “Whoever you are, wherever you are … I’m starting to think we’re a lot alike. Human beings spinning in blackness … ” And then came the bit that we’re so happy he’s discussing. Frank details his first relationship, back when he was 19 years old, with a man. His first boyfriend, we’re assuming. He’s now 24, so this was five years ago. “4 summer ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too,” Frank writes. “We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide …” The singer goes on to describe this perfect symmetry they shared in really idyllic terms, until they hit a roadblock, that is. “By the time it I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. There was no escaping, no negotiating with the feeling. No choice. It was my first love. It changed my life,” he states.
Frank also talks about then facing the reality about “the other women I had been with, the ones I cared for and thought I was on love with.” He basically goes on to write that all the “sentimental songs” he listened to with those girlfriends were “written in a language I did not yet speak.” He ended up telling his boyfriend how he felt, but it took the unamed BF three whole years to tell Frank that he reciprocated his feelings — he still had a girlfriend at the time. You have to read this open letter — it almost broke our hearts too. While it must be extremely freeing for him to discuss this openly, you can almost feel the wrench when Frank writes about flying home for another “marred Christmas.”
This was written on a plane last year, FYI, and the relationship has clearly been haunting Ocean for a while now. He then concludes with how grateful he is for the support structures around him, and how this relationship made him thankful for what he has now, as he likens what he went through — what we realize was a pretty awful breakup, with no closure — to a “near death experience.” He doesn’t openly state if he’s gay or bisexual. He doesn’t need to. He just probably needed to put it out there to get some closure, which we really hope he’s got. Another important bit is where he adds, “I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore … I feel like a free man.” We’ve really hoping the haters don’t swarm with this news. The fact that he’s taking that chance, makes us respect him even more.
[Photo: Getty Images]