Brad Pitt’s Brother Doug Is Clearly The Better Pitt Right Now. Brad, That Hair Isn’t Helping Your Case.

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Brad Pitt's Brother Doug Stars In Ad Campaign, Defends Mother

We didn’t know Doug Pitt existed until this week, and already he’s pulling ahead of Brad Pitt as our favorite Pitt of all time. Brad, a lot of that is on you. A lot of it is on you. After starring in a particularly witty Virgin Mobile ad campaign that riffs on his Everyman status, Doug is enjoying a few moments in the limelight, as opposed having his parents introduce him as, to use the words of A League Of Their Own, their other son, Brad Pitt’s brother. “It’s a little surreal, but it’s fun,” Brad Pitt’s brother told the Today show this morning. “This whole campaign was to be tongue in cheek and to have fun. And luckily, it’s hit its mark.” Meanwhile, Brad should be quaking in his unkempt goatee that his sibling is about to steal the nation’s heart out from under him. Why exactly are we all about Doug of a sudden? We are so glad you asked…

1) Doug is a philanthropist: Okay, so maybe Brad uses his millions upon millions of dollars to occasionally help the needy, but founding the children’s charity Care to Learn and being an upstanding businessman is Doug’s full-time job. Oh wait, at least it was until he got in front of a camera. We guess you two are even, then…

2) Until you realize Brad looks like this right now: We mean, what? How did this happen? At least Doug doesn’t look like an early ’90s gigolo. This is deeply upsetting.

3) Doug at least tried to explain what’s up with Mama Pitt: Eyebrows all over the world raised after their mother Jane Pitt‘s anti-gay marriage op-ed letter popped up in Missouri’s Springfield News-Leader last week; Brad has remained silent on the subject. “Moms and dads and kids agree to disagree all over the world, so why would our family be any different?” Doug said this morning about his mom’s conservative Pro-Romney opinions. “There can be healthy discussion when people disagree with you, and I think there should be. The bad thing is when it turns into venom and negativity and we don’t have that in our family. It’s open discussion, we can learn from each other … maybe you learn something.” At least we learned that we have Pitt options. A variety of Pitts. There are Pitts to suit every mood, and right now our mood is screaming Doug.