We thought we were nearing the end of our coverage of the super-fast divorce of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, but then we read this interesting tidbit in the Los Angeles Times: Katie reportedly used a disposable cell phone to talk to lawyers when she began planning to file for divorce. Because, we guess, Tom and the Scientologists had her regular phone tapped? So creepy and intriguing! So straight out of a movie starring either Katie Holmes or Tom Cruise!
What else did these two probably learn from TV and movies? Here are our wild speculations:
1. Radar says Tom duct-taped all the hallway security cameras in his Iceland hotel the last time Katie stayed there. We’re not sure who he thought would be watching them, but he probably should have taped photos that look exactly like the hallway instead. That’s what Ethan Hunt would have done.
2. Katie made sure to file in New York, where she could make the divorce public and wouldn’t have to follow the prenup — it’s just like how Sally Field wouldn’t fled Iran before letting her husband divorce her in Not Without My Daughter!
3. Katie probably drank a lot of vervain in order to evade any potential supernatural influence of the Scientologists.
4. Katie and Suri have been out and about all over New York, apparently not fearing any nefarious plots to take her down, despite reports that the Scientologists were tailing her. We think she has secret security — like what looks like her mom in the photo above is actually a beefy bodyguard wearing one of those super masks like the ones in Mission: Impossible III.
5. Tom quickly agreed to the settlement because he’s convinced he’s actually in a Vanilla Sky-style lucid dream gone wrong and once this is all over, he will wake up in bed with Penelope Cruz.