We’ve got two words for you: Aluminum. Gondola. How did we go our entire lives until now without reading that phrase? Thanks to a new lawsuit filed against Justin Bieber by an Oregon mom named Stacey Wilson Betts, we get to learn about the “heart-shaped aluminum/steel gondola” the “Boyfriend” singer rides over his audience in his concerts. Unfortunately for Bieber/Betts’ eardrums/your daughters, the structure acted as a “sound conductor creating a sound blast that permanently damaged both of my ears.” Hoo boy! According to the lawsuit, which asks for $9.23 million in damages, Justin “created a wave like effect of screaming by pointing into various sections of the arena. Then enticed the crowd into a frenzy of screams by continuously waving his arms in a quick and upward motion.” We aren’t lawyers, but couldn’t they easily prove this theory by checking to see if everyone in the concert hall now has ear damage? It’s not like Betts was wearing some kind of sound-magnifying aluminum helmet, was she? Wait…no, seriously, was she? Maybe she got it to match the gondola?
Perhaps even odder than an aluminum gondola is the lawsuit recently filed against Brendan Fraser, which alleges that the actor, well, beat up one of the producers of his stalled film The Legend of William Tell. According to Todd Moyer, the actor started to “physically push, verbally threaten and poke [Moyer] in the chest” on July 27, 2011; six months later, Brendan allegedly struck Moyer multiple times when he refused to hire another producer of Fraser’s choosing. So, yeah… looks like we’re not going to be seeing that William Tell movie anytime soon. Are we right in thinking these stories are both equally insane? Is there anyway we could file a lawsuit combining both William Tell and a gondola? We never thought we’d commit a crime but….yeah, this might be worth it. This might be worth it after all.
[Photo: Getty Images]