Kate Upton is fat, y’all! That was the news from the website Skinny Gossip, at least, when last week it criticized the Sports Illustrated model as having “Huge thighs, NO waist, big fat floppy boobs, terrible body definition — she looks like a squishy brick.” Whaaaa? Are we talking about the same model here? And since when do people not like big fat floppy boobs? This is still America, isn’t it? Some women’s sites like Jezebel took the site to task, claiming Skinny Gossip’s harsh dressing down of Upton set unrealistic ideals for women’s bodies. Uh, you think? If even the models are fat, the rest of us are going to have to wear two sheets for pants. It was already embarrassingly enough washing ourselves with a rag on a stick, and now this!
“I’m not going to starve just to be thin. I want to enjoy life and I can’t if I’m not eating and miserable,” Upton allegedly told The Sun in response to the furor. Her spokesperson also allegedly pointed out, “It’s absurd. Kate is gorgeous and very healthy.” We like that. The fact is, as long as it’s your opinion, you’re allowed to write it on the Internet. The people who, according to the now-edited Skinny Gossip site, sent “several death and rape threats” to the post’s writer over what amounts to an online Mean Girls-style burn book are crazy Internet monsters who need to get a grip on reality. That being said, we like it when a celebrity reminds people (including us) that he or she is an actual person who has eyes and ears and feelings and reads the same Internet we do, even if she is gorgeous and has posed for Terry Richardson (a decision we didn’t understand when Rihanna and Lady Gaga did it, and one we don’t understand now). So keep on killing it, angelpie! Haters gonna hater! And while you’re at it, to quote The Simpsons, could you drive us down to the liberry? We want to rent us up some mooovies.
[Photo: Splash News Online]