Why is Hollywood so focused on reboots and remakes when they could just be making sequels? Sequels we’d actually be psyched to see? We’re looking at you, Total Recall! (Just kidding; you know we’re seeing that ish on opening night.) Lucky for us, there are more number two’s coming out than we know what to do with, and boy, does that sentence look weird typed out. Today brought us news that 21 Jump Street 2 is set to film this fall, while Finding Nemo 2 swims its way toward a child’s heart near you, bringing the number of sequels we’re already dying to see up to 10. But you know what’s the only thing we love more than watching sequels? Trying to predict what their plots will be:
- 21 Jump Street 2: Clearly Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill will have to go undercover at a college; we would die if for some reason they please have dress in drag to infiltrate a sorority. Feel free to use our idea, guys! Just give us a producer credit!
- Finding Nemo 2: Well, clearly they have to lose Nemo again. Alternately, Nemo has to find his missing fish-son. As long as Ellen DeGeneres returns, it don’t matter us none.
- Magic Mike 2: We already pitched a lot of excellent plot ideas for this sequel, but we’d love for Channing’s character to have to come out of retirement for one last choreographed strip scene, Gone in Sixty Seconds-style.
- Avengers 2: Considering The Avengers made more money than most European counties make in a year, it’s only a matter of time until we’re all watching the sequel. We guess they’ll have to fight that purple guy Thanos from after the trailers. *Spoiler Alert!* The movie came out over two months ago.
- Ted 2: Director Seth McFarlane said, “I’d be open to making Ted 2,” so we’re pretty sure it’s going to happen. Maybe Ted spends an entire 90 minutes trapped in a dryer. We know: kind of meta, but we think it could work!
- Amazing Spider-Man 2: Venom. Venom. Venom Venom Venom. Venom should be the villain in Amazing Spider-Man 2. No offense, Topher Grace, but this is our chance to do it right!
- Devil Wears Prada 2: Actually, we already know the (alleged) plot for this, seeing as how it’s based on a book. The film “picks up eight years later when Andy is acting as top editor of bridal magazine The Plunge. The teaser description for the book mentions she’s planning a wedding to ‘media scion’ Max, and she can’t escape the memory of her dreaded ex-boss.” If Meryl Streep…ends up…planning…Anne Hathaway‘s wedding….can’t breathe…too excited…everything…fading…to black…
- Catching Fire: Not a sequel so much as it is the second part of the Hunger Games trilogy, but we knew we needed to put this on here so ya’ll could recover from your Streep stroke.
- X-Men: First Class 2: “It’s extraordinarily ambitious,” the movie’s screenwriter Simon Kingberg told Collider. “It is unlike the other X-Men movies and yet very much a celebration of the X-Men movies.” We’re okay with whatever happens, as long as it means more Fassbender in our ocular cavities.
- Dumb And Dumber 2: According to the Farrelly brothers, D&D 2 is back on and allegedly shooting this fall! Someone better tell Jim Carrey, unless we’re all in the mood for some depressing YouTube videos…
Have we missed any? What sequels are you dying to see?
[Photo: Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation/Lionsgate/Disney/Columbia Pictures]