Conor Dwyer, Congrats On That Gold Medal; Now, Can We Find You A New Swimsuit?

|

Conor Dwyer, Ryan Lochte and Ricky Berens watch Michael Phelps finish the 4x200 Freestyle

First of all, we don’t want to take away from this moment for you, Conor Dwyer. During your second of two finals at your Olympic debut, you helped make history. As the second U.S. swimmer in the Men’s 4X200m Freestyle, you built off of Ryan Lochte’s initial lead and helped win gold — bringing teammate Michael Phelps‘ medal tally up to a record 19. That is truly awesome. But now we want to pull you aside for a little chat…

As we watched you and the other boys catch your breath as NBC’s Andrea Kremer interviewed you, we could NOT pay attention to anything anyone was saying because of your distractingly see-through trunks. What is up with those? And OK, they feature more opaque briefs beneath the transparent layer, but that actually didn’t help much. Let’s take a closer look, just to see whether my eyes were deceiving me. The race did air rather late at night.

Conor Dwyer's trunks

Well, sort of. That dark patch is probably just an illusion created by wet fabric against wet fabric. Still, it’s, um, an interesting look. But hey, you are an Olympic gold medalist, so if you want to show the world your many assets, we should just sit down and shut up, right?

[Photos: Getty Images]