Uh-oh, it looks like Michael Phelps beat Ryan Lochte at something else this week. While Lochte is reportedly fielding offers for a reality TV show as he makes his move to Los Angeles, his retired pal Phelps is already set to begin filming his episodes of Golf Channel’s The Haney Project, in which he’ll get tips on improving his game from Tiger Woods’ former coach Hank Haney.
Don’t worry, Ryan. We can give you an extra edge in this (made up) race. We know you’re considering Dancing With the Stars, which has made ballroom dancers out of many an Olympian before, but how about some less predictable choices? Here are our own outlandish ideas:
1. Lochte is a huge Lil’ Wayne fan and tried to wear a diamond American-flag grill on the podium while receiving a gold medal. This makes us hope MTV will up and revive Celebrity Rap Superstar just for him (and maybe Tom Hardy). We’re sure his tooth jewels will make up for any talent shortages he has as a rapper, and we have no doubt it would be wildly entertaining to watch this legend try to drop some beats. We wonder how many times he would throw “Jeah!” into his raps.
2. As long as we’re pitching old MTV shows, Lochte would be an incredible fit on Bromance. Let’s be real, this swimmer is pretty fratty, and we definitely can forsee a beautiful bromance unfolding between Ryan and Brody Jenner. Brody’s dad, Bruce Jenner, is an Olympian, so there’s obviously already a connection there, but this relationship has a much deeper foundation. First of all, Lochte still lives in a condo with two other roommates, one who is a college buddy. And according to his mother, he only has time for “one-night-stands.” Let’s thank his mom for warning us. This is one bro who won’t be changing his ways anytime soon, confirmed by his admission to >ESPN, “My last Olympics, I had a girlfriend — big mistake.”
3. It would be hilarious to see Lochte as a contestant on Project Runway, at least just for one episode. Though his personal style pretty much consists of T-shirts and basketball shorts, Lochte seems to believe he would be a baller fashion designer. He revealed this aspiration to The New York Times, saying, “I want to be different, and fashion gives me an outlet to do that.” Though we have some reservations about any future fashion lines, which apparently he is in talks to create, he has already brought the world the gift of neon green rhinestone-encrusted sneakers. We can only imagine what other designs Lochte has up his sleeve. And just imagine: Lochte working tirelessy stitching “Jeah!” into sparkly slippers while his dangling chain hits the sewing machine. Make it work, Ryan!
You may think these suggestions sound far-fetched, but let us convince you of our logic with this inspirational quote: “It’d probably definitely wouldn’t be your normal reality-TV show because I’m not definitely not your normal guy.” Ryan Lochte, everyone.
[Photos: Twitter/Getty Images]