This is the way I, a football ignoramus, understand the whole Tim Tebow-Mark Sanchez situation on the New York Jets: It’s just like in season three of Friday Night Lights, when the boosters brought in freshman hotshot J.D. McCoy even though Matt Saracen was doing just fine as QB1. So unfair for Matt! But not poor J.D.’s fault. OK, so I get that part of the new GQ cover story about Tebow. And I get the tongue-in-cheek way photographer Mark Seliger had the famously religious quarterback pose like Jesus. You know what I don’t get at all? Why he would need to pose in not one but two photos in which his main feature is his hairy armpits.
And in the above, he’s also got this faint trickle of sweat coming down his chest. Am I the only one who finds this gross? Am I the only girl who likes to pretend that men’s armpit hair kind of doesn’t exist? It makes watching basketball challenging, but at least there are other places to look during a game. Here they’re just so in your face. I almost can’t even look at his pretty eyes or be annoyed by the lack of comma in his “Thank You God” bracelet (is Tebow the god of thank-yous? English major jokes!).
Please, I beg you, football fans and admirers of the macho form, explain the appeal of these photos to me. I get the feeling it will make my life easier somehow.