Archives Friday, August 24, 2012

by (@hallekiefer)

Time To Hire More Wig Wranglers! Nicki Minaj And Keith Urban In “Final Talks” For American Idol

Keith Urban And Nicki Minaj In Final Talks For American Idol

The toupee tape alone will cost more than our annual income! Looks like Fox is going to have to rent out a few more warehouses to store all the falls, extensions and wig glue for American Idol this year: Nicki Minaj and Keith Urban are allegedly in “final talks” to join Mariah Carey as American Idol judges. (Note: we are not saying Keith Urban wears a wig. We’re just saying it sure seems like Keith Urban wears a wig, based on what his hair looks like.)

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Urban would pull in between $3 to $4 million for the gig, while Nicki would pocket atcool $8 million “with additional allowances for wardrobe, hair and makeup,” which we assume will translate into another $8 million. Or $20 million. Mariah raked in $18 million for her Idol contract, so we’re assuming her wardrobe and hair budget is just an infinity symbol. Only time will tell. No world if the addition of two new faces means Randy Jackson won’t be returning to the show, but if we had to guess, we’d say Randy’s dressing room is being filled up with boxes and boxes of wig caps as we speak.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

5 Other Things Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Could Have Been Doing Behind That Baseball Cap

Ashton Kutcher And Mila Kunis Kiss At Dodgers Gamer

Once you’ve allegedly referred to your friend/former That ’70s Show costar as your “little wife,” chances are everyone is going to start monitoring your dates with a focus approaching laser intensity. (Especially if you, you know, still technically have a wife somewhere.) Such was the case this week when Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher attended a Dodgers game with Mila’s parents. The two are admittedly a super-hot couple, which is probably why Mila held a baseball cap over their faces when they shared an intimate moment. But were they definitely kissing? The pervert in us says yes, but there are plenty of reasons why two adult human beings would hide their love under a sweat hat. For example, maybe the Dodgers politely asked Mila to cover up, as her beauty was distracting them at a pivotal point in the game. Or maybe Ashton wanted to show off his new tongue ring, or…

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by (@hallekiefer)

Okay, But Does It Qualify As Ironic?: Alanis Morissette Rumored For American Idol

Alanis Morissette Rumored For American Idol

We guess it isn’t technically ironic that Alanis Morissette is in talks to become an American Idol judge. It’s unexpected, but it probably wouldn’t be ironic unless Alanis lead some sort of public campaign against Simon Cowell. If only. When asked about the show at the Hollywood Rockwalk induction ceremony this week, however, Alanis did admit that she’s “been in conversations about it, and that’s the degree to which I can share the info right now.” Ugh, we would love to see Morissette smiling away at the judge’s table to. We suspect her feedback would be…delightfully unpredictable. Remember the transparent dangling carrots. Yeah, this would be a great move.

Of course, the Jagged Little Pill singer is only one of roughly one billion musicians A.I. might potentially be hiring, joining the proud ranks alongside Keith Urban, Nick Jonas, Enrique Iglesias, Brad Paisley, Kanye and Nicki Minaj. While we’ll obviously wet our pants if Kanye or Nicki snag a spot (that also goes for Enrique, because yum), we could see the show hiring Alanis simply because Mariah Carey isn’t going to flip her wig about working with her. “I live to mentor, so my heart is much more open to the idea of that than even 10 years ago when I, perhaps, wasn’t in a position to be able to offer much advice, solicited or otherwise,” Morissette explains. Eat your heart out, Dave Coulier.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Celine Dion Goes Topless For V, Magazine Nudity Officially Jumps The Shark

So, Celine Dion appears topless in the latest issue of V Magazine. No, we didn’t mean to write Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, or anyone else whose bosoms we see more often than our family*. We mean Celine “My Heart Will Go On” Dion, she of the 5 octave vocal range and infinite facial expression range. We’ll admit, this example of artistic magazine nudity does shock us a little bit. It’s not everyday we get a little naughty Adult Contemporary action.

Although something seems to have gotten into the 44-year old mother of three lately, as evidenced earlier this year when she performed wearing a dress so short that she flashed the front rows. 2012 will forever be known as the year Celine got her groove back, apparently. Must be that three-year gig at Caesars Palace!

Celine invited celeb photographer Sebastian Faena into the Floria home she shares with husband Rene Angelil, and proceeded to play up both the sexy as well as the crazy. There are short-shorts and swimsuits as well as feathers, bunny-ears and overalls covered with teddy bears. We don’t even know anymore.

“I’m like this in my real life,” she told the magazine of the session, her first non-promotional photo shoot in six years. “I was scared a little bit because this was so different for me, but I’m glad I did it. Usually there’s always a reason when I do a photo shoot, there’s not the opportunity to go crazy. With this it was two in the morning and I was still jumping on the trampoline.” So that’s the real Celine, you guys: One part siren and one part total insanity.

[Photo: V Magazine]

*We don’t mean our family’s bosom, because just…no.

by (@hallekiefer)

Ryan Lochte, Tell Us How To Feel About Lance Armstrong Losing His Tour De France Titles

Lance Armstrong Stripped Of Titled

But…but we still have a drawer full of Live Strong bracelets we were planning to wear! We couldn’t have been the only ones shocked to hear Lance Armstrong was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency today over his alleged use of illegal performance enhancers, right? Or the fact that Lance was also banned from the sport of cycling forever. “I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999,” Armstrong wrote on his site last night. “Over the past three years, I have been subjected to a two-year federal criminal investigation followed by [an] unconstitutional witch hunt. The toll this has taken on my family, and my work for our foundation and on me leads me to where I am today – finished with this nonsense. ” Us Weekly notes that while Lance has never been convicted of doping, he has allegedly done steroids during his career, an accusation that several of his teammates testified about to the agency. So…is this a case of “if there’s smoke, there’s fire”? Or is the smoke just burning rubber billowing off Lance’s bike as he blows past  his competitors? We don’t know what to think!

In case you weren’t sure how to react to the Armstrong bombshell either (suggested emotion: bummed either way), Ryan Lochte has a few thoughts on the subject. “If Lance is innocent, it’s a sad time in sports history,” the Olympic swimmer told Celebuzz.“I know that it would be awful to go through all of that. I don’t have first hand knowledge of all the facts in the situation [and] I don’t like making assumptions based on what the media reports. None of us will know, so ultimately none of us should judge…. There’s always two sides to the story. I do feel that there should be zero tolerance for anything that artificially enhances performance. But it should not take years after seven wins for this to be so heavily investigated and debated.” Declared Armstrong on this site,”I know who won those seven Tours, my teammates know who won those seven Tours, and everyone I competed against knows who won those seven Tours. We all raced together.” Now that Armstrong is out of the game, we guess we’ll just have to turn our eyes to another cycling great for guidance. People like…um…oh, what’s his name…and the other man…the one with the thing…oh yikes. Lance, wait! Come back!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Kate Upton Volunteers To Clean Ft. Greene Park, Makes Community Service Lovers Out Of All Of Us

Here’s yet another reason for you to pitch in and do some community service: You  never know when you might be joined by Kate Upton! The cover girl showed up in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene park yesterday to help pick up litter along side 30 very surprised teenagers. She was also joined by professional skateboarder Chaz Ortiz, but we have a funny feeling that the kids were more pumped to see Kate.

She made a rare public appearance without a bikini, instead opting for a baggy button down shirt and jeans. While her sandals might not have been ideal for intense yard work, it could have been worse. “Hey, at least I’m not wearing heels!” she joked. Good point. The charity event was organized by Stoked Mentors and skateboard brand Zoo York. “I love being able to work with kids who have disadvantages and work together and make this a better community,” she explained to ESPN. Check out the gallery below for further proof that Kate cleans up nice!

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[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Tom Cruise’s Millions Are Safe Following Divorce Settlement With Katie Holmes

With over $250 million in the bank, Tom Cruise’s split from Katie Holmes could have resulted in a divorce payout of McCartney proportions. However settlement details leaked on TMZ reveal that homeboy got off pretty easy, leaving the vast majority of his millions untouched. After five years of marriage, Katie walks with just $400,000 child support for six-year-old daughter Suri. That might seem high at $33,333.33 a month, but Suri’s got a wardrobe to keep up, people! No Oshkosh for her.

These support payments will continue for 12 years until she turns 18. Tom is also responsible for paying Suri’s medical, insurance and educational costs, but that’s pretty much it; Katie personally gets nothing from the settlement. Aside from the complete Mission Impossible DVD boxed set, maybe. But she did score a sizable victory but getting a clause in the settlement stipulating that Suri cannot attend a residential school. We imagine this was placed in the agreement to avoid any kind of Scientology-related educational disagreements the ex’s might have.

And just like that, TomKat was gone…Head on down to the gallery and take one last look for the road. But don’t worry Celeb fans: We’ll always have Suri.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@shalapitcher)

Fifty Shames Of Earl Grey: The Parody That Will Finally Let You Laugh At Your Own Obsession

Fifty Shames of Earl Grey
So, you’ve feverishly read through most of E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy — that third one takes some work, right — the movie is eons away, and now you’re getting kind of tired of seeing everyone, their mother and their brother-in-law reading the books on the train, the plane and everywhere in between. What’s next? Fifty Shames of Earl Grey by the pseudonymous Fanny Merkin (a.k.a. book blogger Andrew Shaffer) is kind of the perfect beach read for the end of summer and the end of your obsession.

If you have cleared fantasies of Christian and Ana and the Red Room of Pain from your mind, you might be starting to see the absurdities of the books’ plot and characters — how does no one call the authorities on Christian’s stalkerish behavior? How would a publishing company hire a girl fresh out of college to be an editor, regardless of who owns the place? The list goes on. Earl Grey just takes those absurdities a little further with the story of Anna Steal and Earl Grey.

The skeleton of the plot is the same, but the details are hilariously exaggerated. Anna’s roommate, “a total B,” is Kathleen Kraven, an alcoholic 38-year-old writer for Boardroom Hotties. Their friend Jin is a Brony, Before her interview of Earl, she has actually never ridden in an elevator because “we don’t have elevators in Portland.” Anna works at Walmart. Earl Grey buys Walmart in his efforts to impress/control her. Oh, and he’s not into your average BDSM — his version stands for “Bards, Dragons, Sorcery and Magick,” as in very sexy LARP-ing.
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by (@missmuttoo)

Kristen Stewart Looks Gorgeous In New Balenciaga Campaign, Silencing Rumors That She Was Dropped!

Kristen Stewart New Ad For Balenciaga, Elle Spain

The news of Kristen Stewart becoming the face of Balenciaga’s new fragrance “Florabotanica” was released back in June. The campaign shot released soon after and K.Stew killed it looking as high-fashion as they come, but still herself, if you catch our drift? The photograph stayed true to her image, and it wasn’t like looking at someone who had changed everything about themselves for an endorsement deal. This was all pre-Rupert Sanders-hook-up scandal, though and there was talk that Kristen had been dropped as the face of the brand because of all the negative publicity. She was absent for the video commercial, which is where people started talking even more. But The Cut published a story stating that the video was released a full week (July 19) before the scandal broke, so it wasn’t because she was having issues with her contract (they checked the time stamp on the video.) Balenciaga has silenced all those rumors themselves now by putting that advertisement you see above in the September issue of Elle Spain. Artfully black-and-white with a pop of color through the floral motif above her arm, Kristen’s striped top looks like its paying homage to the cap of the fragrance bottle, which is also striped. We love it! Do you?

[Photo via Magazine Download]

Related: Kristen Stewart Is The Face Of Balenciaga’s New Fragrance “Florabotanica”
Couture Over Converse: Kristen Stewart’s New Perfume Ad Reminds Us Of Her Best Model-y Moments

by (@hallekiefer)

Important Style Lessons Learned From Zahara Jolie-Pitt, Harper Beckham And Other Celeb Kids

Celeb Kids Fashion

Sometimes it’s easy to get in a fashion rut. We can’t be the only ones who open our closets and want to dump everything down the garbage shut, right? Luckily there is one source of constant style inspiration, and that, of course, is celeb kids. From queen Suri to Harper Beckham, Zahara Jolie-Pitt to Ava Jackson, the lessons offered by famous offspring can help energize your excitement for fashion again. Click through our gallery for the important tips these miniature style icons have to offer. We’ll give you one right now: comfortable shoes can be cute too! Especially if they’re made out of cloth and you have a giant person constantly carrying you around so they never touch the ground. Who wouldn’t want to have that look?

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[Photo: Splash News Online]