Confusion. Despair. Rage. Bargaining. Explosions. Shouting and waving around a dog-eared copy of Us Weekly. More explosions. All of these are completely recognizable human emotions expressed by Bruce Willis in his Twi-Hard With A Vengence parody on Letterman last night. So recognizable, in fact, that we were willing to ignore the fact that jokes about the Robsten scandal are, um, over a month old at this point. Hey, at least it was more thought-out than Will Ferrell’s Trampire rant on Conan! Or at least that’s what we going through our minds before we heard the rest of Bruce’s appearance, and…hoo boy.
“I was invited on one of their shows. The Real Housewives of Ishobistos Country,” Willis joke-mumbled to Dave about visiting Budapest. “What they do is, they get two great-looking women to stand and face each other and smack the s— out of each other.” Whaaa? Letterman then forced everyone in the audience to give the Expendable 2 star a standing ovation for no apparent reason. You know what? Maybe some people are meant to live their best lives inside a Twilight parody. Everyone who’s obsessed with 50 Shades of Grey, you know exactly what we’re talking about!