Pound for pound, we think Kevin Hart was a really solid MTV VMAs host tonight. The comedian brought a much needed levity to one of the most earnest awards show we’d seen since…gosh, we’re going to say the Oscars. So it makes sense that Hart delivered the majority of the VMAs most memorable quotes, with a little help from Rebel Wilson and Drake. On a related note, maybe it’s for the best that KStew couldn’t make it after all…
- “Drake is from Canada. He loves to recycle,” joked Hart, as part of his convoluted explanation for how all those bottles got thrown during Chris Brown and Drake‘s night club brawl.
- “I’m tired of it. Fix it tonight,” yelled Kevin, getting real about Drake and Chris Brown’s alleged beef over Rihanna.
- “Everybody knows you’ve been wanting a bun in the oven for a while. For god’s sake, you’ve been cooking your skin for the last ten years,” said Kevin, riffing on the arrival of Snooki‘s baby Lorenzo.
- “They’re now a part of the Seven Dwarves. Sleepy, Grumpy, Adultery, Cheaty…” claimed Kevin, naming the new dwarfs they’ve added now that *gulp* Kristen Stewart is Snow White.
- “Prince Harry is here if you want to get naked. I don’t know what you’re into. He’s here. He’s watching,” Kevin exclaimed as he showed One Direction their royal-themed dressing room…complete with princely wall art.
- “Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg Exclusive! Sometimes I just want to be held!,” Andy Samberg shouted, to the consternation of his Celeste & Jesse Forever costar.
- “Who wants to be the chip in my dip?,” Rebel Wilson leered at The Wanted.
- “I think I’m just going to go home and finish myself off.” Rebel Wilson explained…also to The Wanted.
- Drake started to describe being bullied for being black and Jewish, then dedicated his Best Hip-Hop Video award to “any kid that’s ever had a long walk home by yourself” before yelling, “We made it, bitch!”
- “She was my girlfriend for five minutes,” joked Kevin Hart, finishing off the night with a zinger about (who else?) Taylor Swift.
Catch more show highlights in the video below.
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[Photo: Getty Images]