I don’t know how to be objective about this subject, guys, so bear with me. Jessica Simpson appeared on the premiere of Katie Couric’s Katie today to show off her post-baby body. And to plug Weight Watchers, which she’s being paid a reported $3 million to do. As a four-months pregnant lady, I (predictably) have way too many emotions attached to this appearance. Let me classify them for you:
1) Defensive: I can’t believe how much the press has been hounding Jessica — since even before she announced her pregnancy — about gaining weight during her pregnancy. This was the Mom Jeans Incident of 2009 to the 1000th degree. This woman is a super successful fashion mogul now, not your personal fitness icon, leave her alone. I gained weight basically the instant I peed on a stick, and yeah, sometimes when I see those ladies who only look pregnant from the side, I want to crawl into a hole, but then I think about the fact that I can put aside vanity and think about someone else’s health for the first time in my life.
“I let myself indulge in everything I wanted because it was the first time I was ever pregnant, and I wanted to enjoy it,” Simpson told USA Today last week. “I wanted to be happy and eat what I wanted.” I hope the gossip world feels some shame in wanting to take away a woman’s desire to be happy.
2) Fascinated: At the same time, I have watched Jessica’s body grow with every photo, and just like everyone else, thought for one guilty moment, that there was no way she just had one baby in there. She’s my height, 5’4″, and weighed 170 lbs when she was pregnant with little Maxwell Drew. And her main indulgence is the exact same as my own: macaroni and cheese. I eat it for desert now, people. But today on Katie she also admitted that she did zero exercise during her pregnancy. When she signed onto Weight Watchers, she could barely do 800 steps a day. And she admits to a bit of magical (very Nick and Jessica-era JSimps) thinking when it comes to losing the pounds.
“I thought my doctors were telling me that it was just a lot of water and whenever my water broke my whole entire stomach would go down but that did not happen,” she told Couric. “All the weight did not come out with the baby.”
So now I kind of want to know every detail about how she’s managed to lose 40 lbs since giving birth in May. She looks great, if not yet Daisy Duke thin.
3) Jaded: Then again, as she showed off her new ad, sat next to a Weight Watchers rep and outlined the benefits of the WW program, I started to feel a little cheated. Have I been sucked into this drama all for Simpson’s paycheck? What if her “regular-girl” problems were all part of a genius elaborate plan to get this contract? I want more real stories about “Slutty Brownies” at the office (and a recipe!), not doctrine about counting every bite (in a program that costs money). Damn. Maybe I’m just the naive one here. Sigh.
4) Hungry: Pass the mac and cheese!