Wait a minute…somebody looked at evidence in a celeb criminal investigation and concluded that they didn’t do it? What is this, Opposite Day? We thought that was in March! According to TMZ, however, sources who have allegedly sneaked a peek at the security footage from Miley Cyrus‘ alleged nightclub fight from last weekend say it confirms what Miley and Liam Hemsworth have been saying all along: Miley never, ever threw a punch at a fellow bar patron. While a police investigation into the event continues, their sources scoffs that he or she is “almost certain” Miley won’t be charged over the alleged event. Where upon we realized that this is only the latest situation where Miley Cyrus’ life could have jumped the rails and skidded off into Amanda Bynes/Lindsay Lohan territory, but didn’t. No, seriously! Think about it!
- In 2010, a video showed Miley taking fatty tatty hits from a bong, then everyone just…kind of forgot about it, even after Billy Ray Cyrus lamented on Twitter, “Sorry guys. I had no idea. Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. Im so sad. There is much beyond my control right now,” which was not exactly a vote of confidence.
- Speaking of dads, remember when Billy Ray Cyrus also compared his daughter to Kurt Cobain in the February 2011 issue of GQ? “One more thing about Kurt [Cobain]—Kurt was one of those guys. That’s why I’m concerned about Miley. I think that his world was just spinning so fast and he had so many people around him that didn’t help him…I don’t know. I’m her daddy so maybe I’m a little sensitive to it, but now’s a real good time to make sure everything’s okay.”
- On a related note, Billy Ray and Trish Cyrus were poised to get a divorce in 2010. Then in 2011, they just..decided not to.
We were going to beg for you to explain how Miley stayed on the straight and extremely narrow, but maybe we just answered our own question. Maybe having a dad on Kurt Cobain alert and the ability to break up with friends who blow up your spot on the internet are Miley’s secret to stability. Either way, keep up the good work, lady! Redirect that craziness into your scalp stylings all you want!
[Photo: Splash News Online]