12 Reasons Why Elle Fanning’s New Lolita-Tinged Perfume Ad Kind Of Creeps Us Out

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We like Elle Fanning around these parts, but we’re a little mad at her right now. Sure, she seems like a sweet and massively talented young lady and all. But this epic three minute long commercial she made for Lolita Lempicka fragrances kinda creeps us out. A lot. Why? Well, imagine if Fiona Apple directed a Sesame Street clip. It’s kind of like that.

We’ve stared at our screens for almost an hour trying to describe the many ways that the 14-year-old’s performance rubs us the wrong way. Sure, there’s the overused-yet-still-unnerving trope of pitting child-like innocence against sexual awakening. That’s unsettling in the best of occasions. But then the video takes a turn as Elle gets back to nature and starts doing things with sticks that we’re still trying to figure out. After a while, we realized it would be easier to just show you. Come take the journey with us.

 1. The Wood Allen-style opening credits.

It’s a promo to shill scented water, folks. Let’s not get too arty here.

2. The “I’m Starting Fires With My Mind” Face

 

3. The “I Have A Secret” Face

“Teehee, I burnt down my house.”

4. The Lone Ranger Face

 

5. The Lolita Lips Shot

 

6. The Skeptical Moose Face

 

7. The Hunted Moose Face

 

8. The Aggressive Moose Face

 

9. The Nature Lover Pose

 

10. The Single Tear

 

11. Wait, was all that stick stuff just a mating call?

 

12. Nature Lover Part 2

And there you have it! The story of a young girl looking for her buck. Simple, right?

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