Are we the only ones who want to enter the world of Fox’s New Girl and steal Zooey Deschanel‘s entire wardrobe, along with her glasses, hair and/or skin? Or are we the only ones brave enough to admit it? Chew on that, clowns! As of last night, Zooey, her pretty dresses and her roommates are back for a second season, kicking things off with the double-header of “Re-Launch” and “Katie.” So we thought we would give you what you didn’t even know you wanted: a photo recap of Jess’s excellent outfits every week. We also threw a few bonus photos of Max Greenfield in a garbage bag diaper and Book of Mormon‘s Josh Gad hysterically crying just to sweeten the pot. We know. You’re welcome.
Season 2, Episode 1: “Re-Launch”
Jess: “I’m a really good teacher. I care about my kids. I spent two months in summer school with an Indian student named Vag Rejuv and I did not laugh once. Not once!”
Jess: “I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yo-yo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat. No, you’re right. I’m overthinking it. The hat’s fine.”
Jess: “My boobs are loving this unemployed thing. They don’t have to go to boob jail every day!”
Jess: “Schmidt, I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen.”
Nick: “What if I wanted to take a body shot off you? Oh yeah, I can’t, because you are wearing a turn-of-the-century bathing costume.” Yeah she is!
Season 2, Episode 2: “Katie”
Jess: “I don’t play by your rules! I can drink at 11…a.m.!
Jess: “I had the best sex of my life last night. He brewed me like a fine chamomile.”
Nick: “Oh, so that was you? I thought it was a couple of bums fighting.”
Jess: “It wasn’t. It was me. Having sex. I love my body. I went up to heaven, saw my grandparents, thought it was weird I saw my grandparents, came back down, became a werewolf. I scared some teenagers. Came back into my body. The only thing is…he thinks my name is Katie.”
Bear Claw: “Hey, if we make love later and I tell you to pretend that I’m a scary ghost, will you be weirded out by that?”