Seth MacFarlane To Host Oscars: Which Of His Characters He Should Bring…And Which Should Stay Home

|

Hope you guys have room in your brain-stomachs for more Seth MacFarlane! After hosting this fall’s SNL season premiere and dating the Kahleesi, the Family Guy creator has just been announced as the new host of the 2013 Oscars. We were a little hesitant to sign on for another heaping helping of Seth, but the exceedingly sweet announcement video MacFarlane made with his bathing suit-obsessed dad has our hopes up: “I wore them only once and I had underwear underneath there, so nothing of important ever touched the mesh.” Victory is his!

Additionally, we also know Seth can really sing, based on his album of pop standards, a requirement for memorable Oscar hosts. That being said, let’s get down to brass tacks here, people: Seth MacFarlane is going to voice some of his characters on stage at the Oscars. You know it, we know it, the American people know it, and as a collective group that has been listening to Family Guy jokes since 1999, we’d like to cast our votes as to which MacFarlane characters we would be delighted to have at the Academy Awards…and which will turned away at the door. Hmmm, we guess we’ll have to have Seth draw and voice the security guards too…man, there is so much to get done before February 24!

MacFarlane Characters We Hope Will Be At The Oscars:

  • Stewie, Family Guy: He already made a brief appearance at the Emmys. There is no way he’s not coming to the Oscars.
  • Roger, American Dad: When else are we going to have an alien that sounds like Paul Lynde at the Academy Awards? This is our only shot! We can’t be the only ones who want this!
  • Meg and Chris Griffin, Family Guy: Doing some sort of bit with his cartoon offspring Mila Kunis and Seth Green would be excellent. (Bonus points if Mila is required to wear Meg’s pink cap, glasses and constantly reaffirmed self-loathing._
  • Ted, Ted: Remember when the Oscars had Anne Hathaway and James Franco host as a bid to attract a younger audience? Imagine¬† how successful they would have been if they had been a single foul-mouthed stuffed animal.

MacFarlane Characters That Shouldn’t Be Allowed Withing 500 Yards Of The Academy Awards:

  • Peter Griffin, Family Guy: Just as having the actual Seth MacFarlane onstage means we don’t need to hear Brian, having Ted would nullify our need to hear Peter. Because they’re the exact same voice.¬†
  • Quagmire, Family Guy: No. No. Dear god, no. Unacceptable. We didn’t listen to every man under the age of 35 scream, “Giggity! Giggity!” for eight years running only to be subjected to it again on Oscars night. Sidney Poitier has been on that stage! Audrey Hepburn! There has to be a line somewhere.
  • Hebert the Elderly Pedophile, Family Guy: Take what we said about Quagmire, then multiple it times a thousand. Although now that we think about it, if you’re going to have Seth MacFarlane host the Oscars, you have to assume some inappropriate stuff is going to go down. So maybe Herbert should get his own musical number? Go big or go home, Seth MacFarlane!