The season premiere of Jersey Shore is tonight at 10/9pm Central, ya’ll! It’s been six seasons and three years in the making but it’s almost time to bid Snooki and the gang adieu. Luckily we have the next couple months to get a truly satisfying conclusion, because we have quite a few burning questions we’d like the last season of JS to answer. Ew…what? No, no, we said burning questions. Come on, people! It’s not like we’ve been using the smush room.
- Will Ronnie and Sammi end up together? Three years into their relationship, we never actually know if Ron and Sam are actually dating. Last we checked they were smooching out, but it seems like at any moment we might learn they’ve been single for four months. Snooki’s engaged, JWoww is engaged…are these two going for it or what?
- What is The Situation like sober? The last season of Jersey Shore might be the first season that has us spending a significant amount of time with a sober Mike. According to his interview on Ellen yesterday, the Sitch is allegedly eight months sober. Will he be a completely different human being and roommate? We can’t imagine he’d be more likely to let JWoww’s dogs poop all over the house…
- Can Deena pick up Snooki’s wastey pants mantle? The pressure is on, girl! With Snooki out of the game with a bun in the oven, Deena is the shore house’s resident party person. The fact she was cited for a “failure to use the sidewalk” during filming is promising, but how far can the Jersey Turnpike take her?
- So…does Snooki give birth on camera? Or at least go into labor on camera? Are they going to use baby Lorenzo as a coda to the series at all, or save his little baby star power for the second season of Snooki & JWoww? They’re probably going to do the latter, aren’t they? Man, they just keep reeling us back in!
- Where is the drama going to come from? Snooki and Jionni are happy. Ron and Sam are at peace. The Situation is sipping exclusively on Gatorade. Everyone else seems to be relatively content with their lives/millions upon millions of dollars. If no one is going to fight and/or break into hysterical tears…where will the drama come from? At this rate, we’re going to need all of Pauly D‘s one-night stands to be over-the-top characters just to keep the show moving along! Actually…yeah, we’d be more than okay with that.
[Photo: Splash News Online]