15 Comfortingly Outrageous Quotes From The Jersey Shore Season Premiere

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If you watched the two-hour Jersey Shore season premiere last night, one twelfth of your entire day was spent watching Deena cry and Snooki be pregnant. It felt good, right? Familiar? Call us clinically insane, but having the gang back under one (well, maybe two) dysfunctional roofs for a final season felt right to us. Considering the cast was so comfortable, they didn’t give a second thought to the words coming out of their mouths, we assume they must have felt the same way.

  1. ” A toast? GTL!” The Situation
  2. “If he starts with me again, I’m going to go into premature labor.” Snooki, when considering The Situation.
  3. “The pregnant bitch is here!” Snooki, arriving to the shore house.
  4. “It smells like we left it!” Deena, arriving on the shore house.
  5. “Now we can fight in peace.” Ronnie, joking about finally getting a separate room with Sammi.
  6. “You know you’ve been doing this a long time when every girl I’m like, ‘Oh I smashed her, I smashed her…’” Vinny, upon returning to Karma.
  7. “I think so. Jionni said he tasted milk.” Snooki, on whether she was lactating yet. Hoo boy.
  8. “He gets abducted. He definitely gets abducted. He’s the girl version of Nicole.” Sammi on Drunk Ronnie
  9. “Rule #667: You cannot sex have with a girl that’s on her period unless 1) it’s your girlfriend and 2) it’s your girlfriend for a minute.” The Situation
  10. “Me and Jionni should be friends. We’re Eskimo brothers, bro!” Vinny, on making friends with Snooki’s fiance.
  11. “Eskimo brothers are when you hook up with the same chick…A lot of us in this house are Eskimo brothers. We all are!” Pauly D, being gross
  12. “No shame. Good integrity.” JWoww’s new motto
  13. “People can just go to school at a bar. It’s like a class.” Deena, trying to determine the different between integrity and shame.
  14. “I don’t think I’m miserable tonight.” Sammi
  15. “I’m drunk and it makes me smile.” JWoww

We’re already excited for next week.

[Photo: MTV]