We Try To Pinpoint The 5 Weirdest Things About This Vintage Anna Kendrick Cabaret Video. It’s Not Easy.

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Well…Anna Kendrick sure can sing, right guys? That’s the one thing we can say about this vintage video of the Pitch Perfect star belting out Cabaret’s “Life Upon The Wicked Stage” at Carnegie Hall’s “My Favorite Broadway: Leading Ladies” as a 13-year-old. Ignoring the fact that a grown woman sings this song in the musical (which we could not), there are about 1 million upsetting details about the video that make us happy and surprised that Anna Kendrick turned out to be a semi-normal adult. Details like…

  1. That bizarre outfit: Was there a gas leak in the wardrobe department? Though really, what would have looked more appropriate next to Madonna-style satin lingerie? Oh, right…nothing.
  2. The Japanese subtitles: Unless the subtitles explain something about the video we don’t know (for example, perhaps it was filmed in Nathan Lane‘s nightmare), any Japanese viewer would have to be twice as confused as we are.
  3. So. much. armpit. hair. We don’t mean to hate on body hair, but it really adds to the Twin Peaks vibe of the whole video. Now that we think about it…every aspect of the backup dancers is jarring. For example…
  4. All the pelvic thrusting. :(
  5. The lighting design. Did the Joker do the set design and lighting for this show?
  6. The fact that the audience is laughing. Rather than immediately stepping into the lobby to call the police. See, we couldn’t even narrow it down to five!

Anna really kills it, though, doesn’t she?

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