Uh…ex-squeeze us? Since when does the world not want to see Ben Affleck toweling off after a shower scene? We spent our adolescence watching Ben Affleck rub down Jennifer Lopez on a yacht, and now we’re supposed to want less semi-nude Affleck? The Argo director joked about his nakedness on the Daily Show, imitating producers who asked that less Affleck flesh be on display in the film: “‘I don’t have any notes, except…do you want to tell him or should I? You know the shower scene? Maybe…trim that a little bit.” Agreed Jon Stewart, “At the time I was thinking, ‘Ah…it’s a little gratuitous.'” How dare you, Hollywood! You do not spend the early 2000s convincing teen girls that Ben Affleck is the hottest man alive, only to switch up the narrative a decade or so later. We demand you stick to your story!
The only way we could possibly agree with a shorter shower scene is if Ben’s commitment to looking ’70s affected his natural attractiveness. “I’m the only guy who doesn’t look like the guy he’s playing, but you know, I wasn’t about to fire myself. But that’s why I did the hair and the beard,” Affleck laughed in his new Vulture interview. “The hair wasn’t the worst; the beard was the worst. My kids were hounding me, like, every day, “Dad! Shave!” Every day. I was like, ‘Just put up with the beard.” Hmmm….well, okay, we guess maybe the beard changes things. We’ll have to see the director’s cut to know for sure. But if Gigli didn’t ruin our desire to see some Affleck nudity, we’re pretty sure nothing could.