If you aren’t watching American Horror Story: Asylum yet, you really need to get your DVR in gear. It’s got aliens, Jessica Lange in a nun’s habit, serial killers, Jessica Lange in lingerie, mutants and, most importantly, Evan Peters‘ butt. Uh, guh, we mean, Evan Peters! (Though you do totally see his butt.) If you are already a fan (and currently hyperventilating in anticipation of how sick the Halloween episode is undoubtedly going to be), you’ll be pleased to know your spooky boyfriend is keeping it unsettling in his new Tyler Shields video, clutching his lady friend Betsy…who happens to be a horrible, sad blow-up doll. Evan later compares his relationship to interracial marriage and licks gloopy peanut butter of Betsy’s glassy, staring face. Yup! It’s exactly as upsetting as you’d think it would be!
Peters’ actual flesh-and-blood girlfriend Emma Roberts also cameos for a little face-sucking, so clearly she appreciates Evan’s commitment to being perturbing. (We also like the nod to Silence of the Lambs with the song choice. Classic!) Man, has any guy been so cute and so skin-crawling at the same time? If only we too were filled with air and had a face like a sexed-up Mary Worth!