*Spoiler alert* You are in love with American Horror Story: Asylum star Evan Peters. Okay, so maybe we’re doing what our therapist might call “projecting,” but we certainly aren’t the only ones who think he’s a spooky dreamboat. “It was pretty cool that they liked Tate, and they seem to like Kit, too, which is good. Yeah, I checked out Tumblr,” Peters tells Vulture about keeping his fans for season two. But in case some of them weren’t convinced, he adds, “There’s a lot of my butt up there this year, which I was a little nervous about.” Us too! That must be why our hands are shaking uncontrollably and we’re panting like an exhausted hell hound.
Actually, if you’ve seen last week’s episode (or tonight’s. Screeners, baby!), you know we’re two for two for Evan’s Butt. Laughs the actor, “I have a great picture of me naked on a bed just wearing a c— sock, and the crew is all around me, bored. We were all waiting for a film roll or a lens to arrive. So I’m just sitting around naked on the bed and everyone’s so nonchalant. It was really weird for me, like, ’Man, this is awkward.’ ” Man, we are not normally this butt crazed, but come on. Come on.
During tonight’s episode, *actual spoiler alert* Jessica Lange‘s strict Sister Jude canes Kit for violating the asylum rules, a scene which the cast had to film on the first day of shooting. The first and the best day. “I had to wear a c— sock, right? And since I was wearing a hospital gown, I thought, Well, my front’s not going to be showing. It’s not a big deal. And when they bent me over [laughs], they could see my balls hanging down from the other side. The first day of shooting, and I flash Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson my balls. In the end, however, perhaps it was Evans’ junk that brought them all together as a family. “Once someone’s seen your balls, it’s over,” he says. “It’s fine. Everything’s good. They didn’t even say anything. Sarah just walked over after that take and kissed me on the cheek.” We’re…we’re going to show some restraint and not even touch that one. You’re welcome, everybody.