New Girl reached a new height of adorableness last night with an ep that focused primarily on Jess and CeCe’s sweet lady friendship, though we did have to deal with the absurdity of a world where Zooey Deschanel is considering ridiculous compared to models. Let’s be honest: Zooey Deschanel is straight-up one of the hottest ladies on the planet. Don’t believe us? Please check out the outfit she wore out the club last night. Please.
Jess: “I’m going with promising ballerina turned streetwalker.”
Ba-dow! Remember in the first season when they were sort of pretending Jess wasn’t a hottie bombalottie? Yeah, we’re glad we’ve all moved out from that, especially wardrobe-wise.
Nick: “Nothing would make me happier than to throw it up, mush it back into a cookie shape and jam it down your throat.”
Schmidt: “You want to mama bird me that cookie?”
Were we the only ones into College Nick’s mustache? And College Schmidt’s fat suit? We need more flashbacks!
Jess: “I should be able to deal with the fact that they think I look like a monkey from a Russian cracker ad.”
To be fair to those models…she does! That little monkey’s bangs are so cute! We’d buy a pallet of those crackers in a hot second.
Jess: “Hey, is it totally obvious I’m not wearing underwear? Because it should be!”
Nick: “That makes two of us!”
Was anyone else barely able to look at Zooey Deschanel without bangs last night? She looked gorgeous but still…you just got the feeling something ain’t right. We fear change.
Jess: “These are heavy. They’re like chain mail for my eyes.”
CeCe: “Whoa, they gave you the huge lashes. Those are the magnums.”
Jess: “I actually like them. I think I’m going to keep them on.”
CeCe: “You’re afraid to take the glue off.”
Jess: “Yeah, I’m terrified.”
We loved that a hot, ill-fitting pair of pumps was a huge plot point, but we loved Zooey’s gigantic freak faux lashes even more. Ugh, why can we watch Clueless on VHS and make bath towel prom dresses with these guys?
[Photo: Getty Images]